[Vision2020] Moscow-Pullman Daily News 8-28-19: His View: Playing chess for Greenland golf courses By Jim Jones
starbliss at gmail.com
Wed Aug 28 21:51:45 PDT 2019
Hilarious yet horrifying.
Vision2020 Post: Ted Moffett
His View: Playing chess for Greenland golf courses
8-28-19 by Jim Jones
The president’s supporters have often claimed that Trump is playing
three-dimensional chess while we mere mortals are only capable of
comprehending checkers. I was skeptical of this contention until it was
disclosed that Trump is hot to to buy Greenland. The pieces of the puzzle
finally fell into place. Trump’s plan is mind-blowing — a strategy that
could only have been developed by a super computer capable of
five-dimensional chess or by that remarkable individual known as “the
Trump has pretended all along that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by
the Chinese. In actuality, he understands that the ice sheets at both poles
and Greenland are melting to beat the band, which will raise the sea level
around the world. He is likely aware of the Penn State researchers’
conclusion that the global sea level would rise about 24 feet if all of the
Greenland ice were to melt. About 100 million people live in areas that
would be flooded by a rise of 3 feet, but just think of the havoc and
dislocation a 24-foot rise would cause.
So, where are Trump’s golf courses located? A number of the trump-branded
courses are located within several long tee shots of those rising waters —
Doral, Balmedie, West Palm Beach, Jupiter — while others are close enough
that they would be substantially impacted.
A normal person might guard against the threat of inundation by merely
relocating the golf resorts to higher ground, but a stable genius would
think far outside of the box and be light years ahead of us conventional
The president has been planning all along to allow global warming to go
unabated so that all of the Greenland ice will melt away. As the owner of
Greenland, Trump can then develop the real estate where the ice had been
with fantastic new golf resorts on what will come to be known as the “Trump
Purchase.” True Genius!
Unfortunately, the Danish foreign minister has posed a temporary problem by
throwing cold water (perhaps ice melt) on the president’s plan, claiming
the island is not for sale. It is unlikely this will frustrate the
brilliant scheme because Trump can impose crushing tariffs on that little
nation until it relents, provided he can figure out what it exports to
Our ace in the hole is that the person who Trump appointed as ambassador to
Denmark, a former chiropractor and B-movie star (“Deathstalker and the
Warriors from Hell”), is on the case and likely to manipulate the body
politic in that little country in favor of the deal.
Regrettably, the ice-melting project will entail some collateral damage. As
the Greenland ice sheet disappears, large swaths of our coasts will become
uninhabitable, but on the bright side most of those folks did not support
Trump in the 2016 election. Another glitch is that much of the higher
ground around the world will also become uninhabitable because of scorching
heat and the inability to grow foodstuffs as a result of drought,
torrential downpours, or other climate calamities.
The planet will become unfriendly to plants, animals and every other life
form, except, perhaps, for the billionaire class.
They may be able to survive in heavily-guarded, air-conditioned
sanctuaries, which, of course, will be surrounded by impenetrable walls to
keep the commoners out. They will be able to enjoy those wonderful golf
courses on what might come to be known as Trumphaven, a last resort for the
*Jim Jones is a former Idaho attorney general and a former Idaho Supreme
Court chief justice. His previous columns can be found at JJCommonTater.com
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