[Vision2020] Turkey pardoned by Trump had multiple contacts with Russian officials (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Wed Nov 22 05:23:44 PST 2017

Courtesy of the DuffelBlog at:



Turkey pardoned by Trump had multiple contacts with Russian officials

WASHINGTON — The turkey pardoned by President Donald Trump has had multiple contacts with Russian officials over the past year, Duffel Blog has learned.

Grav E. Gobbles, a 4-year-old bird from western Minnesota, received a pardon Tuesday during a ceremony in the Rose Garden. But how Gobbles was able to secure a presidential pardon has come under scrutiny, sources say.

According to sources, Gobbles met privately on multiple occasions with Russian officials over the past year, leading some to allege a pumpkin pie-to-play scheme. In one instance, for example, Gobbles spoke with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, though the details of what was discussed are still unknown.

“First, I’m never going to do that,” Kislyak told reporters when asked for details of the meeting. “But I can tell you, without any reservation, our conversation was totally gravy.”

Gobbles also reportedly met with Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn, according to sources, in a campaign on his own behalf. At that meeting, Gobbles reportedly schemed with Flynn to kidnap a fellow turkey from his home, before stuffing him into a waiting van headed to The White House.

“You can say it was a recipe for deliciousness,” the source said.

The revelation comes just days after Attorney General Jeff Sessions was grilled on Capitol Hill over his own recollections of meetings with Russian officials during the presidential campaign.

Special counsel Robert Mueller is already aware of the allegations against Gobbles, and sources say he is expected to roast him in the coming days.


Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
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