[Vision2020] Public School Teacher Blues

[Tom Hansen]

See below.

Seeya round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares"
http://www.MoscowCares.com
  
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
 

Begin forwarded message:

> From: The Wailing List <wailinglist at despair.com>
> Date: November 20, 2012, 1:30:26 PM PST
> To: <thansen at moscow.com>
> Subject: The Wailing List - Public School Teacher Blues
> Reply-To: The Wailing List <wailinglist at despair.com>
> 
> 
> Today at Despair.com... A Public School Teacher pleads for mercy.  And wins our eternal love (cactus).
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> 
> 
> 
> PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER BLUES
> 
> We received several emails yesterday afternoon and evening from people who were forbidden, either by technology or circumstance, from participating in our "Green Monday" sale.  Apparently, some employers out there actually BLOCK "Despair.com" on their firewalls for some inexplicable reason!  (I can't imagine what that would be... We love companies just as much as Misery does.)  Other employees actually do not have access to computers during their workday.  Many of them, it turns out, are public school teachers.  Like Jan.
> 
> Jan, an 8th Grade Teacher in California, wrote us an email last night that truly moved us to tears. And, to offer a brief reprieve for those locked-out of our calendar sale by vicious, Despair.com firewall blocking employers (or by underfunded schools without computers in the classroom).  But anyone who is in either camp should read Jan's email, first.  Just because... 
> 
> "Oh Despair, why?
> 
> I was crushed- truly crushed!- to learn of your horribly-timed calendar sale!
> 
> I am an 8th grade teacher in an underfunded public school- which has taught more than I care to admit about despair. I have purchased calendars from your company for many years. I usually wait for these wonderful sales you occasionally unveil to do my shopping, since I'm paid about as much as the French Fry Satisfaction Technician at my local Carl's Jr.  My school does not have the budget to provide computers to teachers, though they did provide me a small "Love Cactus" in September and a card that says, "Thank you for helping little things grow!"  I've cut myself on it thrice, once requiring a visit to our equally-underfunded nurses office.  She reluctantly parted with a 'Dora the Explorer' band-aid for my 'owie', but warned me that her supply was growing ever-lower, due to budget cuts and an explosion of "Love Cactus" related injuries that have inexplicably struck other valued teachers in my school. 
> 
> Upon returning to my classroom, my students proceeded to mock me with the nickname, "Dora".  When I rebuked them, they changed my nickname to "The Grumpy Old Troll".  Now, other kids in other grade are calling me that. It's going to stick. (I'm 32! THIRTY-TWO!)
> 
> This is my life.
> 
> When I got home from work today, I vainly hoped that maybe- just maybe- your 'greenmonday' coupon might still work.  But it didn't.  My agony was compounded by the fact that I absolutely love what I've seen of your page-a-day calendar and I would love to give it to many coworkers- and most especially to our principal, who is an inveterate optimist and cactus-lover.  It is my sincerest hope that your calendar might prick him daily throughout the year, just as his "Love Cactus" has pricked me.  Though his wounds will be internal, it is my belief that they may far more enduring.  That is my deepest desire (at least that does not involve Daniel Craig and chocolate).
> 
> Would you, my fellow soulmates in Despair, please- PLEASE!- offer me a chance to get in on your wonderful sale after hours?  Any time after 4pm Eastern will do.  Though I'd prefer it not be after 10pm.  That's when I have my daily cry.  I prefer to do that in total darkness.
> 
> Yours in eternal despair,
> Jan"
> 
> Jan, we love you. You are truly a genius.  And yes, of course we will help you.  If you want to place your order tonight- Tuesday November 20th- you may use the coupon code 'lovecactus' between 6PM and 8PM Central Time. You will be granted the same deal- 50% off  2013 Despair calendars when you order two or more.  Any of you who were blocked by firewalls by your employers, or are toiling in computerless classrooms, may take advantage.  But we're only doing it for two hours.  So you can have it done well ahead of your daily cry, Jan.  We hope, tonight at least, you'll weep with a tiny smile on your face.
> 
> Love, your fellow soulmates in Despair.
>  
>  
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