[Vision2020] FWD: Elephant Gone Missing in Latah County

[Donovan Arnold]

Elephant Gone Missing in Latah County
 
Local authorities are asking residents of Moscow and Latah County to be on the look out for a missing elephant. At approximately 5:45 AM on Sunday morning the elephant from the political sign of Barrett Schroeder, Republican candidate for State Senator 5th District, has gone missing. 
 
John Friedman of Moscow said, 
 
"I was walking down 6th Street, and I noticed a yard sign of Schroeder's and I couldn't see the elephant on the front of the sign. I looked behind it, looked all around, no elephant! You can't hide an elephant, so it must be missing."
 
 
Others too have confirmed that the elephant on candidate Schroeder's sign has not been seen for quite a while. Investigator's have also confirmed the elephant is missing from the sign, however, they will not comment on their ongoing investigations into the matter. They also refused to answer press questions as to whether candidate Schroeder is a suspect in the unknown disappearance of the elephant. 
 
There is unconfirmed rumors, speculations, and reports of what happened to the little loved, red, white, and blue elephant that has followed many Republicans all over Idaho and the nation. 
 
Julie Harris of Troy has stated that she believes the elephant was politically costly for Schroeder so he has abandoned the poor animal.  "Ain't nobody gonna vote for an elephant in these parts of Latah, so he left him behind to fend for himself. "
 
Still others don't believe the hype and unfounded speculation. Tom Scott, Deary,
 proclaimed, 
 
"I've know Barrett since he was a a boy and he so loved that elephant, he grew up with it, his dad had it for a while on his posters and yard signs, and Barrett took care of it, and even helped all the elephants as he was Chair of the Latah County Republicans for ten years. I know Barrett, and he would never abandon his elephant."
 
The most far-fetched rumors are also still out there. A man who refuses to state his name and would only speak with anonymity claimed he saw Barrett Schroeder with Gary Schroeder, his father, taking the elephant in a U-Haul to the family business, Hide and Fur for slaughter to make sure it disappears so he wins the election.  
 
While Schroeder has yet to speak in his defense on what happened to his pet elephant,  some supporter's of Schroeder's campaign, like Mathew Hughes, Viola, have suggested his opponent in the Republican Primary election, Gresham Bouma, has stolen Schroeder's mascot as a twisted frat-like prank on the candidate. Bouma has not commented on the matter either, however reporters have found a similar looking elephant of Schroeder's on Bouma's website: http://greshambouma.com/ . 
 
Still, others would disagree, like Beth Beau, a Junior at the University of Idaho studying environmental science and President of the student organization PEETA.  She stated her opinion,
 
" I think the elephant ran away from Schroeder. It was tired of being abused as a political tool for a party that doesn't care about the Earth's creatures and what happens to their environment."
 
Mark Henderson, Genesee, said he just thinks Schroeder removed the elephant to make room for the animal that really represents his viewpoints, a rhino, or RINO as others spell it. 
 
No matter what happened to Schroeder's elephant, safety officials are warning people that if they spot the elephant not to approach it, as it could be frightened, confused, or violent because of abuse. Poor people are of special concern as well, as they have been known when cornered to trample them, take their money, and give it away as tax cuts for the wealthy. But most importantly, they warn, under no circumstances, do you ever vote for who the elephant tells you to. 
 
 
 
---Donovan J. Arnold 
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mailman.fsr.com/pipermail/vision2020/attachments/20120506/8c50c627/attachment-0001.html>