[Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in aRelationship?

[Wayne Price]

Or marry an rich, agnostic, infertile, orphan!




On Jul 20, 2012, at 7:20 PM, lfalen wrote:

> According to Dave Ramsey the things that cause the most problems in  
> a marriage are: financial matter, inlaws, religion and how to raise  
> the kids.              Date those you think are fun to be with, but  
> make sure you are in agreement on the above before you get hitched..
> Roger
> -----Original message-----
> From: Donovan Arnold donovanjarnold2005 at yahoo.com
> Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2012 06:42:40 -0700
> To: Kenneth Marcy kmmos1 at frontier.com
> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in  
> aRelationship?
>
>> Ken, you wrote,
>>
>> "Odd may not be the optimal diction, but to the extent that you  
>> appear to believe the "dumb blonde" development theory, i.e., one  
>> may be beautiful and dumb or ugly and brilliant, but not beautiful  
>> and brilliant, with ugly and dumb being ignored all around, you may  
>> uncharitably caricature yourself as juvenile, trite, and tiresome."
>>
>> Clarification; you think someone being young and immature is the  
>> same as not being intelligent? I don't. Men, unlike women, don't  
>> have a fully developed frontal cortex, the reasoning portion of the  
>> brain, until their mid twenties. I don't think it is shallow to  
>> want a partner who is completely mature and developed, not still  
>> developing the physically and emotionally control centers of their  
>> brain. This is entirely different than intelligence. Someone can be  
>> highly intelligent at 18, 21 or 26, yet still not be stable and  
>> emotionally developed. I don't' want to date someone immature.  
>> Further, while I can converse just fine with someone at any age,  
>> this is very different that connecting and relating to them. Until  
>> a person has reached their thirties, they have spent the majority  
>> of their life living with mom and dad not in the real world. They  
>> have not had enough experiences as an adult to relate to me.
>>
>> I would consider it far more immature of me to try and have a long  
>> term relationship with someone nearly half my age. And the only  
>> reason I would be doing it would be the person's youth and looks,  
>> which to me would be very shallow and superficial.
>>
>> As for old and dumb people, I have yet to meet one. All people are  
>> smart and beautiful in one way or another and not that bright in  
>> others. Even Albert Einstein would forget to comb his hair and  
>> about the needs of his wife and child.
>>
>> Marylin Monroe once proposed to Einstein that they have a baby  
>> because a person with her looks and his brains would have a lot of  
>> advantages. However, Einstein declined, because of the possibility  
>> that the baby could end up with his looks and her brains.
>>
>> Donovan J. Arnold
>>
>> PS. Learning another language is an excellent idea, but has to be  
>> done at a very young age. Otherwise it is just memorization and the  
>> words don't have the emotionial conncetion they are intented to,  
>> they are simply functionial. I can learn Spanish written but not  
>> spoken because I cannot hear certain sounds used in the Spanish  
>> language that are not in the English language. After a certain age,  
>> your brain reassignes the portions of the brain that were  
>> dedeicated to hearing and speaking certain sounds for other  
>> functions if not used in childhood.
>>
>>
>> From: Kenneth Marcy <kmmos1 at frontier.com>
>> To:
>> Cc: Moscow Vision2020 <vision2020 at moscow.com>
>> Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:12 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in  
>> a Relationship?
>>
>>
>> On 7/19/2012 6:32 PM, Donovan Arnold wrote:
>>
>> Very good insights Ken and Wayne. Thank you!
>>>
>>> As I was saying to Scott, I don't know about the "same as you in a  
>>> partner" theory. I know scientists state this, but I just like  
>>> variety I guess. If someone is like me, they are boring to me. I  
>>> enjoy a mystery wrapped in an enigma. There are differences I  
>>> think that can even compliment, I think, and improve or help the  
>>> both of you.
>> The complementarity in couples idea appears in some personality  
>> theories. Carl G. Jung's Personality Types, and the Myers-Briggs  
>> Type Indicator, a personality inventory instrument described by its  
>> author Isabel Briggs Myers in her book Gifts Differing, and second- 
>> generation follow-on books such as Type Talk, Type Talk at Work,  
>> and Type Talk in Love, by Kroeger and Thueson, can give you  
>> overviews and working knowledge of the system. These are just the  
>> top of the pile; many more MBTI resources are available, with the  
>> search for, and the discovery of, the better ones being part of the  
>> research process that is to be enjoyed.
>>
>>
>> "The different strokes for different strokes" I think is very true.  
>> What one person likes another might be repulsed by. The reason I  
>> asked about looks versus personality is that I also perceived it as  
>> an either or situation. You either get someone that looks exactly  
>> like you want a partner to and are highly attracted to them, or  
>> they have the personality and behavior you enjoy in a partner.  
>> Someone you love talking to, or someone you love looking at. For  
>> me, I don't think it is possible to have both. I love the  
>> interesting older, mature mind that only comes with an older man,  
>> but I like the body that comes with a younger man. I figure, it is  
>> best to shoot for the middle somewhere. Someone that you greatly  
>> enjoy talking to, but is still attractive enough to keep it  
>> physical too. Am I odd in thinking that way?
>> Odd may not be the optimal diction, but to the extent that you  
>> appear to believe the "dumb blonde" development theory, i.e., one  
>> may be beautiful and dumb or ugly and brilliant, but not beautiful  
>> and brilliant, with ugly and dumb being ignored all around, you may  
>> uncharitably caricature yourself as juvenile, trite, and tiresome.
>>
>> Certainly there are bodacious brains aplenty in the world, as  
>> reviewing most university graduation ceremonies will reveal;  
>> suggesting they don't exist fails to compliment your observations  
>> and their accomplishments. That you prefer individuals with more  
>> specific and particular characteristics only adds search  
>> requirements to your to do list, but that should not cause you to  
>> assume brilliant beauty does not exist because such does not appear  
>> in your search results.
>>
>> If you find your range of conversational choices limited, perhaps  
>> you need to make efforts to expand your lingual range. Do you only  
>> speak one language? How about adding another one or two or three?  
>> The latinate romance languages that spread their vulgar varieties  
>> beyond the Rome that spawned them may hold keys to the  
>> conversational cultures that you seek. If you have not yet started  
>> learning Spanish, then French, then Italian, perhaps now is the  
>> time to create some more motivation to add multilingual to your  
>> personal description.
>>
>>
>> Ken
>>
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>
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> List services made available by First Step Internet,
> serving the communities of the Palouse since 1994.
>               http://www.fsr.net
>          mailto:Vision2020 at moscow.com
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