[Vision2020] Survivor: The Classroom Version

[Tom Hansen]

I would like to preface this posting with a reference to a comment made by
one our state legislators, whose name escapes me, at last Friday's House
debate on Senate Bill 1184 (The "Luna Plan, Part 3") . . .

"Teaching is not a science.  It is an art."

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Survivor: The Classroom Version

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?  Three businessmen
and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom
for one school year.  Each business person will be provided with a copy of
his/her school district's curriculum and a class of 20-25 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three
with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Two
students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least three days in
advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives, and modify, organize,
or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach
students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance,
write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades,
complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and
arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between
class changes to monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and "Code
Red" drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum
development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and
strive to get their two non-English speaking children proficient enough to
take the SOLS tests.  If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not
let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, language arts, math, science, and
social studies into the program, plus teach their own required physical
education, music, and art. They must maintain discipline and provide an
educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. 
If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, or if they do
poorly on numerous standardized tests (on which their "merit pay" salary
will be determined), the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the
weekends, but with their new salary, they will not be able to afford it.
There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and
lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of
their work day and may include playground responsibilities.  The business
people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another
survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials
before or after school, only. However, they cannot surpass their monthly
limit of copies.  The business people must continually advance their
education, working toward an advanced degree, at their expense and on
their own time.

The winner of this season of this "Survivor" will be allowed to return to
his/her cushy business world job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy and to the ones that
know it is hard.

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior
teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

- William Arthur Ward, American Scholar



“Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll
understand.”

- Chinese Proverb



“More important than the curriculum is the question of the methods of
teaching and the spirit in which the teaching is given”

- Bertrand Russell



“The test of a good teacher is not how many questions he can ask his
pupils that they will answer readily, but how many questions he inspires
them to ask him which he finds it hard to answer”

- Alice Wellington Rawlings