[Vision2020] Vision2020 Digest, Vol 29, Issue 265

[Paul Rumelhart]

Keely,

I've been against the rampant commercialization of Christmas since I 
watched my first Peanuts Christmas special.  However, the Santa Claus 
meme can expose kids to the idea of gift giving and provides them a role 
model for such.

I don't know how I feel about Santa lists.  I've always hated having to 
come up with a list for someone of things I want.  If I want it, I 
either have it or I'm saving up for it or I've come to terms with never 
owning it.  Your point is very true that a surprise gift can be much 
better than one you got by placing an order.  Myself, I don't mind 
getting gift cards, because it means I can choose something I want as 
opposed to getting something I already have or don't want.

A Wiccan High Priestess I knew had  a really good take on gift giving.  
It's sort of metaphysical.  If she became aware that something she owned 
was needed by someone else, she would give it to them no matter how much 
it meant to her, no matter how expensive or not it was.  She would buy 
an item, or have it be given to her, and know that it was meant for 
someone else in the future.  So she kept an eye out for who might need 
it, and make sure it got there when it was needed.  That's how gift 
giving should work, in my opinion. 

Paul

keely emerinemix wrote:
> Interesting point, Paul, with "customer" as a better description than 
> "consumer" for people who buy things.  "Consumer" conjures images of 
> PacMan-like non-stop, mindless buzzing and devouring . . . although 
> that seems to describe the  Wal Mart tragedy fairly well.
>
> So while we're on the subject . . . how do you all, especially those 
> of you with children, feel about "Santa lists" and such?  My kids are 
> 15 and almost 20; it's been a long time, obviously, since we dealt 
> with Santa Claus.  Even then, we explained that he was a friend of 
> Jesus' who visited once a year to remind us of Jesus' birth and helped 
> us distribute things to people in need.  (Yeah, a rollicking fun mom I 
> was . . . ). 
>
> But we never allowed them to make up lists of things they wanted, 
> either from Santa or from Aunt Stephanie or anyone else.  I really 
> hate the image of children writing out what only looks like a "demand 
> list."  It presumes, one, that they're entitled to receive things and, 
> two, that they're entitled to dictate to the donors what, exactly, it 
> is that they should choose for them to receive.  Of course we kept in 
> mind things like the cool factor of the Pirate Lego set vs. the Space 
> Explorer Lego set, and we tried to steer family members away from 
> things we found objectionable, like guns, but I never even liked -- 
> and still don't today -- the idea of ticking off a list of things 
> so-and-so wants, either for my kids to receive or for me to give to 
> other relatives.  I like to receive small, thoughtful, meaningful 
> things that show me that whoever is gifting me knows me, my tastes, my 
> interests, etc., and wants to reflect them.   Jeff's gift last year of 
> a leather briefcase and a book on the history of travel trailers meant 
> so much to me.  Ditto for the beautiful leather notebook he gave me 
> two years before, or our first Christmas together's tiny vial of my 
> favorite perfume.  They'd have meant a lot less if I'd simply handed 
> him my order for the year.  Likewise, a history of reggae for my 
> eldest is a lot more fun to give when he's unaware that the book even 
> exists. 
>
> This, of course, puts me on the list of Uncool Aunts sometimes.  I 
> don't like giving or getting gift cards, even though I understand 
> they're a concession to holiday stress and overwhelming choice.  But 
> I'd rather buy my niece something that sparks warm thoughts of her or 
> would help her in her career than go out, list in hand, and try to 
> satisfy even the most humbly-written tally of preferred gifts.  My 
> side of the family -- my mother, father and step-mother, brother and 
> his wife and daughter, are all donating to favorite charities for 
> Christmas this year, and while the gift-giving of Christmas continues 
> apace on my husband's side of the family, I would love to see a return 
> to the exchange of simple, well-thought-out tokens of affection, 
> rather than the inevitable disappointment that Aunt Keely didn't get 
> the director's cut of the movie instead of the commercial cut, or 
> bought a book instead of the peach-mango scented organic body lotion set.
>
> So am I the only mom-sister-aunt-daughter-daughter-in-law who feels 
> this way?
>
> Keely
> http://keely-prevailingwinds.blogspot.com/
>