[Vision2020] Planning, Development, and God

[lfalen]

Pretty good Tom
Roger
-----Original message-----
From: Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Date: Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:24:53 -0700
To: vision2020 at moscow.com
Subject: [Vision2020] Planning, Development, and God

> Planning, Development and God
> By Richard Carson
> 
> And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In 6 months I'm going to make it 
> rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people 
> are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind 
> of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And 
> in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark.
> 
> "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints. 
> 
> "6 months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have 
> the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time."
> 
> Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord 
> saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no 
> Ark. "Noah," shouted the Lord. "Where is the Ark?" 
> 
> "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big 
> problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction 
> project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to 
> redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark 
> needed a fire sprinkler system."
> 
> "Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building 
> the Ark in my front yard so, I had to get a variance from the city 
> planning commission. Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, 
> because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to 
> convince the U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I needed the wood to save the 
> owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So, no owls. The carpenters 
> formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement 
> with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw 
> or hammer. Now we have sixteen carpenters going on the boat, and still no 
> owls."
> 
> "Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights 
> group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got 
> the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark 
> without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. 
> They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the 
> conduct of a Supreme Being."
> 
> "Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood 
> plain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a 
> complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many 
> Croatians I'm supposed to hire. The IRS has seized all my assets claiming 
> I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. And I just got a 
> notice from the state about owing them some kind of use tax."
> 
> "I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five 
> years," Noah wailed. The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A 
> rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're 
> not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully. 
> 
> "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."
> 
> -----------------------------------------
> 
> Seeya round town, Moscow.
> 
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>  
> "We're a town of about 23,000 with 10,000 college students. The college 
> students are not very active in local elections (thank goodness!)."
> 
> - Dale Courtney (March 28, 2007)
> 
> 
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