[Vision2020] The Duane Hagadone Blues

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Sun Jan 20 08:07:26 PST 2008


Those of you familiar with Hagadoneville (aka Coeur d'Alene) will appreciate
this article, prefaced with the song "The Duane B. Hagadone Blues" by Doug
Clark.

It seems that His Northern Whineyness (Duane Hagadone) didn't get his way
with the state of Idaho, who denied his (Hagadone's) request for a private
helipad on Lake Coeur d'Alene.

Doug Clark's article follows the song.

So, click the link and sing along to . . .

------------------------------------------------------

"The Duane B. Hagadone Blues"
By Doug Clark

http://tinyurl.com/yro63m

Got a private jet to fly me.
Got a castle on a hill.
I just sold my ocean-going yacht,
For $90 mil.

You'd think I'd be slap-happy.
But I'm Idaho-so sad.
Cuz the state won't let me build my helipad.

Well, I love my creature comforts.
Long stretch limousines.
My golf course got the hugest,
Floating green you ever seen.
It's my way or the highway.
And I'm Haga-mega mad.
Cuz the state won't let me build my helipad.

It's foolish to resist me. 
I always get my way.
And one day I'll put my helipad,
Smack dab on Casco Bay.

Bureaucrats obstruct me.
The little people bug me.
If it wasn't for myself I'd have no one to love.

Well, the Duaniums are bloomin',
Outside my big resort.
At Christmas time the boardwalk's lit up,
Like a whorehouse in a port.

Nature's overrated.
It just needs a helping hand.
And helicopters need a place to land.

One day you'll look up in the sky,
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No. It ain't even Superman.
It's a copter - with Duane.

Stuck high above Lake Coeur d'Alene 
Till the state says I can add:
A king-sized dock and floating helipad.
Big Dewey gots to have his helipad.

Oh, yeah.

--------------------------------

Doug Clark 
The Spokesman-Review
January 20, 2008

Poor Duane Hagadone.

Aside from his power, hotels, newspapers, mansions, luxury cars, boats,
businesses, restaurants, political connections, condos, artwork and untold
millions . the tycoon can't catch a break.

In a disgraceful display of independent thought, the Idaho Department of
Lands said NO to the North Idaho tycoon's nature-improving Lake Coeur
d'Alene plan.

What's the big deal? All Hagadone wants to do is put a dock about, oh, the
size of Worley, plus a floating helicopter landing pad in the waters outside
his Casco Bay manse.
 
But a lands official ruled that the project wouldn't be all that beneficial
to, well, anyone not named Hagadone.

There's only one thing for a fellow to do when faced with the bitter
disappointment of not getting a helipad.

Sing the blues.

That's right. Singing the blues has long been a way for the downtrodden and
oppressed super-rich to shake off their petty inconveniences.

Mr. Hagadone's time is too valuable to waste in front of a microphone, of
course. Fortunately, he has me - a guy he once paid to be an editor at his
Coeur d'Alene newspaper.

So Friday found me at Spokane's Cue11 Studios. I picked guitar and sang the
bluesy Southern-fried original number I wrote to document Duane's pain.

It was a lot of fun being a pretend bluesman for a day. I attempted to
channel the vocal stylings of Randy Newman meets Dr. John meets Harlan
Pepper, the bloodhound owner from the movie "Best in Show."

Dave Cebert, my amigo and Cue11 commander, handled the production duties and
offered key professional advice, like: "I want it to sound like you're
playing on your porch."

Guitar ace Joe Brasch, my band mate and buddy, couldn't make the session
although he did contribute the term "Haga-mega mad."

------------------------------------------------------

Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"If I wanted to overhear every tedious scrap of brain static rattling around
in your head, I'd read your blog."

- Bill Maher





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