[Vision2020] Gore Provides Surprising Reason for Son's Behavior

[heirdoug at netscape.net]

 Gore Provides Surprising Reason for Son's Behavior



BERKELEY, CA - By now we all know that Al Gore III, son of the former 
vice president, was arrested last week. Gore III was pulled over for 
driving about 100 mph. During the arrest, police officers found 
marijuana along with several other "medications."



The surprise this week is not that the former vice president is 
defending his son; the surprise is the reason he is giving for his 
son's behavior.



In a speech at Cal-Berkeley yesterday, Bill Clinton's number 2 said, 
"My son, Al III, has a very sensitive side, especially when it comes to 
the environment. You know how I feel about nature, but my son has taken 
it much farther. He has a deep desire to defend the Mother Goddess 
against all of those evil conservatives who want to destroy her."



At that point, the summer-school students who came to listen to Gore 
gave him a standing ovation and shouted, "Impeach Bush! Impeach Bush!"



Gore continued, "Last week my son hit a new low. He was just so 
depressed about the state of the environment. I could not cheer him up 
at all. Even the Live Earth concerts could not lift his spirits. My son 
told me, 'Dad, I just can't get past the problem with global warming. 
Our beautiful planet is going to die in less than 25 years due to 
global warming and there isn't anything we can do about it. If only you 
had won the election in 2000!' I reminded him that I actually did win, 
but was robbed in Florida. Anyway, my son was very upset."



After a dramatic pause, Gore summed up his son's behavior and arrest, 
"My boy was upset about global warming. The terror that is global 
warming was the cause of his arrest. He was so upset that he 
momentarily lost control of his emotions and began driving too fast. 
The medications he possessed were not enough to help alleviate his 
depression."



Gore concluded, "If we would spend less time focusing on sin as the 
cause of people's problems, and begin looking more closely at global 
warming, pollution, and the rapidly decreasing ozone layer, we could 
make some real progress in this country."



At the end of the speech, Gore took one question. We at TBNN were 
grateful to supply it. We asked, "If your son is so concerned about the 
environment and global warming, then why was he driving so fast, 
thereby consuming greater amounts of gasoline and expelling extra 
greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere?"



Gore answered by simply saying, "Global warming was the cause of his 
arrest." He reportedly quickly departed to catch his private jet to a 
movie premier in Paris.
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