[Vision2020] Democrats for Honorable Politics: Sali is a Girly Name

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (October 27, 2006) UI Argonaut with a special thanks to Frank
McGovern

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Democrats for honorable politics: Sali is a girly name    
Written by Frank McGovern -Argonaut   
  
Friday, 27 October 2006  

The mid-terms are looking pretty darn good for us Democrats (or unaffiliated
liberals). As progressive, forward thinking and looking, decent and caring
human beings, we are naturally prone to stoked-ness for what looks like the
feasible possibility of taking our government back and beginning to dig this
country out of the pit the Republicans have dumped us in (before covering
the pit in illegal, corporately produced toxic sludge). However, we can't
get cocky, or even too hopeful. Rove may yet renew his contract with B.
Lucifer (R-Texas), Prince of Lies, and if we don't win a majority (or two)
we stand the chance of our crushed hopes further weighting the devastating
depression.

Such attacks of despair, like when G-Dub was re-elected (good Lord it
hurts), can lead to self-medication that permanently changes brain chemistry
eventually resulting in rambling rants about Chris Rock's mom or whatever.
So the national scene is looking pretty good, although I'm not sure I can
say the same about Idaho. We're red through and through (not like
commie-red), dyed in the wool (whatever that means). But maybe, just maybe,
if we all work together, we can ride this miraculous wave of political
level-headedness to a Democratic congressman for Idaho's First District.

There are four or more candidates running for the spot, but the ones that
bear the most serious consideration (sorry, you third party-people) are Bill
Sali, the Republican, and Larry Grant, his Democratic opponent. Sali is your
absolutely standard Idaho (R). His pro-me Idaho Statesman editorial was an
absolutely vacant list of talking-point barrenness. In the relatively short
piece, he dogs Nancy Pelosi (D-CA, probably the next majority leader,
Yay!!!) three times. He tries to unflatteringly link Grant with patriotic
vet John Murtha and uses the phrase (I'm serious here), "'blame America
first' cut-and-run liberal," to describe Pelosi. Not exactly a cascade of
originality. Even other Idaho Republicans dislike this guy. Former GOP State
Speaker of the House Bruce Newcomb was fairly subtle with his
Sali-displeasure, though you get the picture if you read between the lines.
Newcomb said, "That idiot [Sali] is just an absolute idiot. He doesn't have
one ounce of empathy in his whole fricking body. And you can put that in the
paper." This is a real quote, by the way.

While cleverly avoiding ever actually discussing any sort of policy at all,
Sali pats himself on the back for having the "common sense conservatism we
need in Washington." Yup, that common sense conservatism has done a bang-up
job so far. It's almost impressive that someone could drop seven words that
are so stunningly, mind-bogglingly disingenuous and contrary to reality. A
recent Rolling Stone article on this Republican Congress' unbelievable
capacity for corruption proposes that the bloated, reigning elephants have
succeeded in turning our nation's previously beautiful and democratic
government into "a political obscenity on par with the court of Nero or
Caligula;" a "Burkina Faso with cable." The stats they list, by the way,
back it up. Everyone should read this article. Even Republicans, if they're
honest with themselves, have to agree that change is a long, long time
coming. 

Anyhow, back to Bill Sali, who aligns himself with this den of criminals,
sexual miscreants and manic, pathological money-wasters. Further gems of
Republican creativity include his pledge to "fight for smaller government,
lower taxes, traditional family values, secure borders and a strong national
defense." Good thing our ballooning corporate bureaucracy has resulted in
such small government. And what Republican "family values" I wonder, is he
referring to? Maybe torture; I still remember getting that first magical
lecture from my parents on every American's right -nay, duty - to shock
people's testicles for bogus information. The founding fathers would be so
proud. In his favor, Sali does sagely point out that "leadership is
everything in Congress."

Larry Grant, however, actually discusses what he would do if elected. A
novel platform these days I know. Grant proposes balancing our horrific
budget, employing an actual, workable strategy in Iraq and sorting out
Congressional corruption, which I can't say enough, has reached massive and
unprecedented levels. Seriously, there is partisan-transcending badness
happening. If you're still on the fence - like maybe Bill Sali's, your
uncle's or something - check out the guys' two pictures on their sites.
Grant looks like a decent cat, and Sali looks like he's just smirking. He's
maybe an alright man, but I wouldn't trust my kids with him. I have some
kids, Fadrian and Moonshine. I named little Moony that before I found out it
was a kind of lead-filled, hick-liquor, which I call "hiquor." Then, I
discovered I couldn't call her "Moony" because of that cult leader who owns
the Washington Times.

The point is (it should be obvious from that last kid metaphor) vote for
Grant. For once in Idaho's recent history let's mix it up a little and throw
a Democrat in there. Frank Church, Idaho's most awesome politician with a
dope name was a Dem and he worked out, so do the right thing. (Special
thanks to Jeff Dearing's blog, idahocynic.com, which I cribbed all of this
stuff from.)

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Vandalville, Idaho

"Politicians are like diapers.  They should be changed frequently and for
the same reason."

- Robin Williams