[Vision2020] Thanks - No, Seriously (Molly Ivins)

[Tom Hansen]

>From "Creators: A Syndicate of Talent" at www.Creators.com -

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THANKS -- NO, SERIOUSLY 
By Molly Ivins

AUSTIN, Texas -- It's time to give thanks, and I want to start off with a
great, big thank you for the top American movement conservatives and all the
fun we've had since Election Day. I know I promised not to gloat after this
election was over, but I'm not talking unseemly gloating -- I'm talking
about moments so brilliantly hilarious the only option is to put your head
down on the desk and howl. 

First in line is the wit of The National Review's Kate O'Beirne, who clearly
teamed up with Borat to explain the great conservative win. Her explanation
is that this is a win for conservatism because a great many of the D's
elected are so conservative themselves. She says half of them are
conservatives. 

She is indeed right. If only twice as many Democrats had been elected, it
would have proved that there are twice as many conservatives in the country,
and this is clear to any thinking person. We might challenge Ms. O'Beirne to
explain how the next Republican win is a victory for liberalism. 

The reason that O'Beirne and others are able to accept such an absurdity is
because they've been listening to George W. Bush for six years and are thus
able to believe six impossible things before breakfast. 

Speaking of "thinking," another great moment for conservatives this year was
highlighted on the Nov. 16 edition of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."
Host Jon Stewart addressed a recent remark that CNN Headline News host Glenn
Beck made to Representative-elect Keith Ellison, D-Minn., the first Muslim
ever elected to Congress. 

Beck said, "I have been nervous about this interview with you because what I
feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our
enemies.'" After airing Beck's comment, Stewart declared, "Finally, a guy
who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking." 

While the Washington press corps worried its pretty little head to a frazzle
over Nancy Pelosi's Armani suits and terrible start as speaker of the House
(except she hasn't started as speaker), they forgot to fret over Trent Lott,
who had previously been bounced unceremoniously from the Senate leadership
team to which the Republicans just re-elected him. They seem to have
forgotten that he had expressed the wish that Strom Thurmond, the
segregationist candidate for president, had won in 1948. 

Thanks for the late Johnny Apple and the now retired Adam Clymer (who
predicted a 28-seat sweep and the possibility of taking the Senate) for
reminding us that The New York Times used to know how to cover politics. So,
for that matter, did The Washington Post, now graced only by E.J. Dionne. 

Thanks for Cokie Roberts, who was the only alert citizen on television on
election night. The others were either stalwart Republicans or John McCain
worshipers. 

Thanks from a grateful nation for an obedient press corps that failed during
Bush's six-hour, carefully orchestrated visit to Indonesia to register the
fact that there were massive demonstrations against his administration and
its policies toward Muslims. The demonstrators during his short visit forced
him to stay behind the presidential palace wall all day and -- due to
concerns for his safety -- not spend the night. 

So many of our media mavens have been so wrong for so long that we may yet
see a mere modicum of becoming self-doubt from our professional
pontificators. And think how thankful we'd all be for that. Their sources,
led by Karl Rove, have had them eating Pablum out of their hands for years
now. 

Nope. No hope.

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, a drink in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO. What a ride!'"