[Vision2020] The Announcement

[Tom Hansen]

>From "Wisdom of Our Fathers - Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons"
by Tim Russert (p. 9)

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Coming out to my dad was one of the most difficult experiences of my life,
as it is for most young gay men.  After all, our dads represent all things
masculine, strong, and "normal" - words not commonly associated with the gay
community.

My announcement was not exactly a textbook example of how it should be done.
Note to closeted gays:  Don't tell your dad during the ten o'clock news,
right before he's going to bed.

Despite my poor timing, my dad responded as many dads do.  He cried all
night.  The next morning, he watched me pass in the living room, my head and
shoulders slung low and my eyes focused on the floor beneath me.  I was
feeling the utter shame of the grave disappointment I had caused him.

By the fourth time our paths crossed, he had seen enough.  He grabbed my
shoulders, pulled them back, and said, "Look me in the eye."  I refused.
Again he said, "Stephen, look me in the eye."  This time I did.  With tears
rolling down his face, he looked right at me and said, "I love you, Stephen.
I don't care what you are.  I just want my boys to be happy."  Then he
hugged me, just like he did the day before, when I was straight.

That's all I ever wanted and needed - to know I would still be loved.  Five
years later, my relationship with my dad has never been stronger.  We still
talk daily after each Cubs game.  I still ask for advice with my job.  And
my dad still asks if I'm dating anyone, although this time around he wants
to know if I've met any good guys lately.

Unconditional love.  That's all we ever want, and I got it.

- Stephen Westman, Chicago, IL, bar owner
  (son of Gary Westman)

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I think that we can all take a lesson from Stephen's dad.

Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom "Straight But Not Narrow" Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"Uh, how about a 1-strike law. Death doesn't seem too extreme for a Level-3
sex offender."

- Dale "Comb-Over" Courtney (August 3, 2005)