[Vision2020] Spousal Submission

[Chasuk]

I don't have any biblical wisdom, or injunctions,  to rely on in the
realm of spousal submission, or, if I do, I'm not tuned to that
channel in my life.  I'm not being flippant.  I am trying to
respectfully convey that, while this is an issue that of course I have
encountered in 25 years of marriage, I've had to cope using purely
secular mechanisms.  Those mechanisms have worked pretty well, in my
humble opinion.

We divided the decisions up into jurisdictional categories, and those
categories have stayed concrete for our entire married lives.  These
categories were selected primarily based on inclination.  I have the
final word when it comes to child rearing, she has the final word when
it comes to finances.  I pick the movies and the restaurants.  She
picks the cars and where the furniture goes, and I pick the color of
my socks (white).  She picks the rest of my wardrobe.  I select the
length of my hair and of her hair, and I decide whether to be hirsute
or clean-shaven.  She selects when and if we go on vacation, and I
select the location.  Most of the music, she chooses, and she chooses
when the lawn needs to be mowed.  Sometimes, neither of us have a
definite preference, so we compromise.  We both decides to say "I'm
sorry" with approximately equal frequency.

I'm larger than she is, and stronger, so naturally I could force her
to do whatever I wanted, but I'm not a bully, and our lives are
happier together when we are both making our own decisions.
Occasionally, differences will arise that are not negotiable, and one
of us has to concede to the other.  We haven't kept track, but I think
I've conceded more times than she has; I think I need her more than
she needs me.  She might argue to the contrary (about the conceding
part, not the needing part).  Still, we love each other (even as we
periodically dislike each other), and the partnership remains
successful.

Chas

-- 
http://emmagoldman.wordpress.com/

"Aren't people absurd! They never use the freedoms they do have, but
demand those they don't have; they have freedom of thought, they
demand freedom of speech." -- Søren Kierkegaard