[Vision2020] A Man Who Knows His Math (Humor)

[Tom Hansen]

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck, causing the  driver to swerve onto the shoulder to
avoid hitting her.  This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung
his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic
and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work; that's 96 miles
each day.  Of these, 16 miles each way are bumper-to-bumper.  Most of the
bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for
32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like
36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of
these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28
has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life
as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National
Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or
homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females
carry weapons, and this number is increasing.  That means that every single
day, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men
are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has
PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? .... I don't think so!!!!!!!

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"If I wanted to overhear every tedious scrap of brain static rattling around
in your head, I'd read your blog."

- Bill Maher