[Vision2020] Ya Need a Laugh?

[J Ford]

A friend just sent me this:

THE MIDDLE WIFE
>By a second grade teacher
>  I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, 
>but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade 
>classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I 
>always have a few sessions with my students It helps them get over shyness 
>and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame Kids bring in pet turtles, model 
>airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever 
>place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to 
>school and talk about it, they're welcome.
>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, 
>takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow 
>stuffed under her sweater.
>
>She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and 
>I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a 
>symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke 
>grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
>
>She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to 
>laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are
watching
>her in amazement.
>
>"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, 
>oh, oh!' " Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around 
>the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this
kid
>is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
>
>"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a 
>sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed 
>like this."
>Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
>
>"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
case
>he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like
>psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands
are
>miming water flowing away. It was too much!
>
>"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' 
>They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, 
>out comes my brother! He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was 
>from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot
of
>stuff inside there."
>
>Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. 
>I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell 
>day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
>
>Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to 
>someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!
>Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy



J  :]

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