[Vision2020] Outsourcing the Presidency

[Donovan Arnold]

Steven,
  
  At least we will know that the job will be done with some competence.
  
  Oh yeah, and the Steelers are going to get their ass kicked by the Seahawks. :)
  
  Take Care,
  
  _DJA

Steven Basoa <sbasoa at moscow.com> wrote:  Outsourcing the Presidency

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of January 12, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary,
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming
the office of President as of January 12, 2006.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were
vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no
health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when
few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will
allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this
position. I always hoped I would be President someday."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem cause Bush was not familiar with the issues
either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand
the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may
have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the
"down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of
the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a résumé and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position
at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking
hands and phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National
Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose
this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month,
before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there,
I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable
knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal
and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with
details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

From: http://community.livejournal.com/anti_bush/


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