[Vision2020] The Mystery Deepens

[Joan Opyr]

>> From: "Art Deco" <deco at moscow.com>
>> To: "Vision 2020" <vision2020 at moscow.com>
>> Subject: [Vision2020] The Mystery Deepens
>>
>> Question for Carl Westberg:
>>
>> . Report: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting baby
>>
>> Is it Brad's or is it yours?

On 11 Jan 2006, at 12:27, Carl Westberg responded:

"Wayne, I just heard about this a couple of hours ago from a concerned 
co-worker.  What really hurts is that after contemplating leaving 
Angelina for Charlize Theron, I rented "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" last 
weekend (whoa!), and I decided to stay with Angelina after viewing the 
movie.  This, as you can imagine, somewhat complicates the situation.  
I rather doubt the baby is mine, I think I'd remember, uh, things.  I'm 
quite sure I'd remember.  This may well force me to break up with her 
for good.

Carl Westberg Jr."

Dear Carl,

Hold steady, old bean.  Angelina is going to need you when Brad leaves 
her for Eva Longoria.  You and I both know that it's just a matter of 
time.  He had the gorgeous Jennifer Aniston, and she wasn't good enough 
for him.  Now he has Angelina, a woman who once wore Billy Bob 
Thornton's blood around her neck in an amulet.  Do you really think 
that that hopped up Iowa-farm-boy-turned-actor is sophisticated enough 
to deal with that?  And what about Angelina's on-again, off-again 
affair with Jenny Shimizu?  That ain't over 'til it's over.

No, sooner or later, Angelina will turn to you for care and comfort, 
Idaho Swedish Westberg style.  In the meantime, just amusez-vous bien.  
Get to know Jenny Shimizu.  In my experience, the way to a woman's 
heart is through her girlfriend.

Of course, the way to a man's heart is through his rib-cage, or so my 
straight women friends tell me.  No, wait!  Is Donovan now going to 
report me for online threats?  Help, help!  I'm being repressed!  Come 
and see the violence inherent in the system!  Jennifer (McFarland not 
Aniston -- no, make that McFarland or Aniston) save me!

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.joanopyr.com