[Vision2020] RE: Illegals

[Ron Force]

Andy Borowitz on the real job of illegal immigrants:


NEW BUSH PLAN ALLOWS IMMIGRANTS TO WORK AS SCAPEGOATS
Illegal Aliens to Be 'Guest Scapegoats' For Duration of 2006 Campaign

Attempting to break the logjam on immigration, President George W. Bush
today proposed a new immigration bill that would allow illegal aliens to
work as scapegoats for the duration of the 2006 midterm election campaign.

"This bill, if passed into law, would recognize the important role
immigrants have traditionally played in America as hard-working, invaluable
political scapegoats," Mr. Bush told reporters at a White House briefing.

Under the president's plan, illegal aliens would be given a new status as
"guest scapegoats" until Election Day in November of 2006, after which they
would return to their previous status as "plain old illegal aliens," the
president said.

Mr. Bush urged Congress to pass his scapegoat bill, adding, "Illegal aliens
are vitally needed to fill the role of scapegoats formerly played by gay
married couples during the 2004 election."

According to insiders familiar with the plan, illegal aliens who come
forward and identify themselves to the government would be issued official
I.D. cards identifying them as scapegoats.

The proposed law offers no medical or Social Security benefits to the
so-called guest scapegoats, but it does guarantee them the opportunity to
appear in negative political ads throughout the fall.

While the plan was instant hailed by Republicans in Congress, it drew an
unlikely opponent today in Baghdad, where Saddam Hussein interrupted his
trial with the following outburst: "I am President Bush's scapegoat, and no
one can take that away from me!"