[Vision2020] Recumbent bicycles

[Andreas Schou]

On Wed, 23 Mar 2005 15:23:55 -0800, Carl Westberg
<carlwestberg846 at hotmail.com> wrote:
> With spring here, I'm thinking of getting a new bicycle.  I've noticed quite
> a few recumbent bikes around town recently.  Does anyone own one, and have
> positive/negative comments?  Kinda looks like a bike a liberal would ride.

It looks like a bike a liberal would ride. This is true. DO NOT BUY ONE.

Buy one, and your hair will fall out except for a ponytail. Your beard
will grow to tremendous length. The rims of your glasses will grow
thick and dark. Leathery patches will begin to swell on the elbows of
your suit jackets and sweaters. You will gain a free subscription to
_The Nation_. In particularly bad cases, you will also receive the
_Utne Reader_. You cannot refuse. You cannot send them back. Slowly,
without your consent, your house will become a geodesic dome, and you
will find yourself the owner of a windmill.

You will not see this transition as abnormal. In fact, it is as
natural as electromagnetism.

Under federal law, you will not be able to own any car but a battered
Volvo, light blue. It will have rust spots, but it will get tremendous
gas mileage and, if properly buckled in, you can survive Ragnarok.
Your Co-op membership will never expire, though your bread will
overflow with spelt. Everything you own will smell like hemp oil. Your
veins will clear, food will turn to tempeh in your mouth.

Your old friends will start to worry about you. It will be too late.
You have bought a recumbant bicycle.

-- ACS