[Vision2020] Death Takes a Holiday

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (March 2, 2005) The Skew -

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Death Takes a Holiday

Washington, DC - Death, that misty morbid master of mortality, made it
official: he's for the Supreme Court decision today, where the high court
ruled 5-4 that juveniles under the age of 18 may not be executed. "Look,
it's been a busy year, what with all the killing in Iraq, Afghanistan,
Guantanamo, Pakistan, Crapistan, Turdistan, Dungpoopistan, all those places
that I can never remember their names they all sound the same. How do you
expect me to keep up if I never get a break?" The scary skeletal
scythe-wielder continued: "Anyway, what do I care if some 16 or 17 year old
punk gets axed now or later - I'll get 'em eventually, don't you worry." The
close call at the court came when Justice Kennedy, brought in by the
Republicans, supported ending the practice, outlawed in every country in the
world except the U.S. and the Republic of Hades, on the grounds that it was
"unusual," and therefore unconstitutional. Condabeelzebuba Rice, ambassador
to the R. of H., was quick to retort: "in a post 9/11 world, we don't think
Mr. Death is being realistic. We've asked Mr. Gonzalez, the new attorney
general, to look into the issue and he has assured us that our current
definition of what constitutes '16 or 17 years old' is 'quaint' and 'out of
date.' We expect to be executin' 'em again quicker than you can say 'Abu
Ghraib.'"

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they
are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say
about their cause, but what they say about their opponents."

-- Robert F. Kennedy