[Vision2020] Bush Asks Americans to Be Patient

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (June 29, 2005) The Skew (www.theskew.com) -

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Bush Asks Americans to Be Patient With His Impatience Which Caused Him to Up
an' Invade Iraq

Fort Dragg, NC - Thoughtful enough to try and convince us yet again that
there are still somewhere out there "friends of democracy" in the Middle
East, President Bush appeared last night on TV to remind us that he can
sometimes appear on TV. Or, to remind us that he invaded Iraq because he
felt like it. We're not really sure which, but we know he had to squeak the
appearance in just in time to stay the course to get to his next month-long
vacation. Despite the phony lead-up to war exposed in the Downing Street
memo, which most Americans don't seem to be much interested in (blame the
media), but maybe actually would be if it was read by Robert Downey Jr. on
crack while gargling a bottle of Downy, Bush still maintained his tricky
balancing act necessary to keep Karl Rove from finally sitting on him and
smothering him once and for all before mid-term elections. He stated that
America has "a very clear strategy" that needs only time to be successful
despite no previous success, unless you count purple inky scant numbers of
Iraqi fingers for all of this time. After the speech, one congressional
representative, Norbert Milquetoast, D-NH, commented, "we still just don't
have a clue what his criteria for success is. Although we're sure the
American people would still give him the benefit of the doubt if the
president would just level with them. Although he might have to balance an
actual carpenter's level on his forked tongue at this point in order to
convince them it was worth 1,740 U.S. military lives plus his toasting those
12,000 Iraqi civilians on a whim."

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This just in:  Despite Cheney's claims that Iraqi insurgency is in its last
throes, due to lagging sales auto giant GM says it's still willing to offer
car bombers their employee discount.

Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen 
Moscow, Idaho

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, a drink in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO. What a ride!'"