[Vision2020] Bush to Seniors: Sorry for All of Them Extra Gray Hairs

[Tom Hansen]

Bush to Seniors: Sorry for All of Them Extra Gray Hairs

Washington, DC - President Bush said this week that the key to overhauling
Social Security was to convince Congress that the checks were going to
disappear by 2018, but not simultaneously scare the living hell out of
seniors so they will stampede to the polls, tossing aside their walkers, to
vote out the Republicans in 2006. Many outside Bush’s inner circle fear that
he is going to cut current benefits as part of his restructuring, thus
handing the downtrodden lovin’ Democrats a one-way pass to the head of the
class in the midterm elections. As reported in a Wall Street publication,
Bush offered, “I think they need to understand there is a problem, and that
problem is frightening our seniors. But the people who really should be
concerned are them other seniors. Them ones in high school. This issue is
really about younger workers, and as far I can tell, they sure like being in
charge of their own money. They kin maybe say, take .15¢ out of every $5.15
and contribute to invest it with a qualified professional. If they are lucky
enough to be one of them qualified investment professionals themselves, why
their fees could maybe run into the billions, lessening their retirement
burden all the more. This gives new meaning to my concept of an ‘ownership
society.’ Heck, if we get the 5% return I’m hoping for, some of them
brokerage house boys could buy half the country. Or at the very least my
entire party.” One other out of touch GOP party member commented, “what’s he
stirring up a political hornet’s nest for when there’s no urgency? The
program probably won’t go belly up until at least 2045 and much like Bush
and our environment, I’ll be dead by then.”