[Vision2020] Re: Well, it ain't plumbing

[Ron Force]

>From Andy Borowitz:


VIRGINIA BANS MARRIAGE BETWEEN COUPLES WHO WEAR DROOPY PANTS
Low-riding Pants Fanciers March on Capitol

In its latest effort to protect the sanctity of traditional marriage, the
Virginia House of Delegates today passed a law banning marriage between two
people who wear low-riding pants.

The law, which passed by a nearly unanimous vote, would make it illegal for
two people to marry if they wear "pants that reveal unwelcome glimpses of
their underwear, or worse."

In the words of Delegate Marcia Tobey, the bill's author, "I think most
sensible people would agree that traditional marriage is defined as a union
between two people who wear their pants cinched tightly at the waist."

Cheered by the bill's easy passage in the House of Delegates, Ms. Tobey says
she hopes that Virginia will inspire the rest of the country to pass a
constitutional amendment banning marriage between low-riding pants wearers
once and for all.

"The constitution gives us the right to bear arms, not the right to bare
ass-cracks," she said.

But the controversial new law has galvanized the state's low-riding pants
fanciers, 500,000 of whom marched on the state capitol today.

Chanting "Hell, no, wear 'em low," the protesters demanded not only that the
state repeal the new law but also that it change the state anthem to Sisqo's
"The Thong Song."

If their demands are not met, protest leaders said, Virginia's droopy pants
wearers may attempt to secede, forming a new state called South Virginia.

Elsewhere, fears about the future of Social Security may be delaying the
retirement of many Americans who should no longer be working, such as
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.


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Ron Force        Moscow ID USA
rforce at moscow.com
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