[Vision2020] Re: Robin Hood

Joan Opyr auntiestablishment at hotmail.com
Thu Feb 10 20:59:22 PST 2005


Dave writes:

"As for Robin Hood, the way I recall the story, Robin was compelled to retrieve money that had been taken by the tyrannical King through an unfair scheme of taxing the peasants.    Fair Hood was not 'stealing from the rich and giving to the poor' but providing a significant tax rebate.  Seems pretty  libertarian to me."

This is almost the plot, Dave.  In fact, Prince John (would-be usurper of King Richard the Lionheart's throne) was collecting taxes from the poor to pay for an unpopular foreign war.  He was not -- as he should have been -- mugging the rich, i.e., the land-grabbing Norman barons, the Sheriff of Nottingham, and Sir Hally Burton, war-monger to the stars.  No -- Prince John was screwing the poor serfs in order to foster popularity among the barons so that he could hang onto Richard's throne when the true king returned (if he returned) from the Crusades.  He was obliged to do this because he didn't have a Republican-packed Supreme Court on which to rely

Rather than providing "a significant tax rebate" to the serfs (who, today, might be called the working class), Robin Hood took the Pretty Boy Floyd route.  He "reclaimed" and "redistributed" wealth from the Archer Daniels Midlands, McDonalds, and Dell Computer moguls of his day, and gave it to the workers.  You might say that Robin Hood introduced the first (involuntary) corporate profit-sharing scheme: ownership of the company by those who built the company.  There is, perhaps, something libertarian with a small "l" about that, but there is nothing conservative with a big "GOP" about it.

[BTW, as my partner-in-crime Brother Carl will attest, I have a libertarian streak myself.  It manifests itself not in aversion to taxes -- except for those used to pay for hopeless foreign excursions, so-called faith-based initiatives, and to foster the Bush definition of marriage -- but in a deep and abiding desire to be left the hell alone.  That's why I moved to Idaho.  I can live with small "l" libertarians; it's nosy Baptist hypocrite right-wing bedroom police self-righteous puritanical fundamentalist conservatives who get on my t-ts.  But then you probably already knew that.]

Dave continues:     

"I am fascinated by your notion of 'gateway literature' though.  This might lead to really dodgy stuff like Adam Smith's The Wealth of Nations, or perhaps even (gasp!) Ayn Rand. What's next?  I can see it now, having to put my poor dear into a twelve-step program to address her adrenaline addiction from reading post-modern economic philosophy.  As my jewish friends would say 'Oy, what a shandre!'"

Listen, Dave, I know your daughter is young, but you must sit her down immediately and have a serious talk with her about the dangers of sniffing Ayn Rand.  One hit on the Fountainhead bong is all it takes for a good kid to go Natural Law.  Soon, she'll be shooting up Atlas Shrugged, and then what?  Milton Friedman tracks all up and down her arms.  The Wall Street Journal's editorial page, injected between her toes.  And then . . . The National Review.  That one goes up in the eyelids.  Don't be meshuggeneh, Dave -- just say no.

Parents: the anti-drug.  Except that, in fact, we are like Halcion.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

PS: I do hope you're not reading that child The Miller's Tale.  Or, worse yet, The Prioress's.  For heaven's sake, start her out with something uplifting like The Pearl or John Bunyon's Pilgrim's Progress.  Yes, of course, she'll be bored to tears, but isn't the idea of bed-time reading to put the child to sleep?  BTW, she's not going to give a hoot about the cuckolding in the Miller's Tale -- she's going to be mesmerized by Nicolas' letting "flee a fart."  God knows I was, and I was sixteen when I first read it.  Old enough not to be laughing at farts.  Then again, I'm 38 now and still laughing, so . . .

PPS: Is it possible that you're confusing Robin Hood with Monty Python's Dennis Moore?

"He robs from the poor,
And gives to the rich.
Dennis Moore,
Dennis Moore,
Stupid b-tch."    Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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