[Vision2020] New Secretary of State Announces Ambitious Agenda

[Tom Hansen]

This just in from today's (February 9, 2005) The Skew
(http://www.theskew.com/) -

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New Secretary of State Announces Ambitious Agenda

Paris, France - Condoleeza Rice, newly appointed and barely anointed, today
announced the latest round of international initiatives aimed at initiating
an instigation of invasion in every country which looks at us crosswise
while at the same time giving the finger to Frenchies and other foreign
friends in what some European allies dubbed the "most unacceptable
unpalatable unilateral reactionary action ever undertaken by a failed
watercolor painter, er, er, excuse us, we meant failed baseball team owner,
drunk driver, draft avoiding former coke fiend." "It's not unilateral," Rice
snapped back in her famous fatuous faux style, "it's a coalition of the
lateral," pointing to the multinational force being assembled, "which
consists of 98,999 U.S.D.A. chicken inspectors who have been converted to
Army Reserve, ha, ha, and 1 Tobagian - that's from the island of Trinidad
and Tobago, and we hope to double the international part of it if he can
talk his brother into joining" she continued. Key points of the
international plan: invading Iran after feinting with some dubious
diplomacy, assassinating Kim Jong Il with a poison hairpiece, reinvading
Iran to pay 'em back for the hostages, massive federal grants to Trinidad
and Tobago. Speaking of T & T, The Skew was able to recently interview the
C.O.L. soldier, Aymso Phukt, who provided the following details detailing
the island nations' deep commitment to international justice: "it was either
this or donate my eyes to a rich blind man. Either way my family finally
gets to eat, and this way I'll be able to see the rice or dog head or
whatever the we eat in this country, at least until someone in a sedan
decides to take a powder along with me and 25 Iraqi policeman, who are more
endangered than a Spotted Mountain Owl nesting on a Halliburton bulldozer
seat in Fallujah. Please leave my brother 'Aulso' alone" the doomed dupe
added.

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they
are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say
about their cause, but what they say about their opponents."

-- Robert F. Kennedy