[Vision2020] Church Humor

[Donovan Arnold]

The timing is right. Enjoy.

Church Humor

My little grandson came in from Bible Study and I
asked him what they studied.
His reply was "Nothing."
I asked him "Didn't you study Jesus?"
His reply was "No, he wasn't even there."

Smith climbs to the top of Mount Sinai to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a
million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to
you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting
into mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into
heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run
in and out, and in and out,
and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For heaven's sake, Jimmy, either come in or stay
out!'"


Church Bulletin Fun

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
church and community.

* This afternoon services will be held at the north
and south ends of the church. Children will be
baptized at both ends.

* The Little Mothers Club will meet at 5 p.m.
Thursday. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please
see the minister in his private study.

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to
come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

* Next week we will take a collection to defray the
cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do
something on the new carpet should come forward and
get a piece of paper.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of
every kind and they may be seen in the church basement
today.

* A bean supper will be held on Thursday evening.
Music will follow.

* The Senior Choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.


Theme Songs for Bible Characters

Noah:
"Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"

Adam and Eve:
"Strangers in Paradise"

Lazarus:
"The Second Time Around"

Esther:
"I Feel Pretty"

Job:
"I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"

Moses:
"The Wanderer"

Jezebel:
"The Lady is a Tramp"

Samson:
"Hair"

Salome:
"I Could Have Danced All Night"

Daniel:
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

Joshua:
"Good Vibrations"

Peter:
"I'm Sorry"

Esau:
"Born To Be Wild"

Jeremiah:
"Take This Job and Shove It"

The Wise Man:
"When You Wish Upon a Star"

Jonah:
"Got a Whale of a Tale"

Elijah:
"Up, Up, and Away"

Methuselah:
"Stayin' Alive"

Nebuchadnezzar:
"Crazy"


		
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