[Vision2020] A Man for the New Century

[Tom Hansen]

>From today's (April 20, 2005) The Skew:

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The new continuity.

A Man for the New Century

Vatican City - If your new century is the 11th, anyway! Unless you've been
living in a cave in Tora Bora, you are doubtless aware that Joseph (Rizzo)
Ratzinger, the conservative (surprised?) cardinal from Germany, has been
installed as the new pope, Benedictine DVD. The Skew talked to our
occasional Vatican commentator, Cardinal Gepetto Scungillifungi, to get his
take on how the new pope would lead the church into the 3rd millennium. "By
sticking to our principles from the 1st millennium, of course." And how will
the new pope look forward? "By looking back." Is he kind? "Yes, but firm
too." Is he gentle? "Yes, but tough." How about tolerance for other
religions? "Yes, as long as they recognize that Catholicism is the only real
one." Any give on the birth control thing, women in the church,
right-to-die? "You kidding?" Scungillifungi continued, "we expect this
pontiff to make his mark on the church by continuing the mark of his
predecessor, following the tradition of traditionalism, and adhering to the
principle of adherence. That way, he can move us into the future by staying
exactly where we are. How's THAT for open-minded?" The Skew notes that if
you squint at a distance of 10 feet more, the decrepit Deutschlander even
looks like his Polish predecessor.

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Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.  But a true friend will be
sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"