[Vision2020] North Carolina takes it all!

[Joan Opyr]

Dear "Duke" Livingston,

Ah, yes, Duke . . . the best university money can buy.  Tobacco money, that is.  What I especially like about Duke is how it was designed to look like Oxford University; workmen were paid to sand down the centers of Duke's stone steps so that they'd have that "genuine" medieval feel.  (And you must just adore your most famous alumna, Senator Elizabeth "Liddy" Dole.  She's such a peach!  Ugh!)

Duke, with its Yankee professors, Yankee students, and Yankee basketball coach.  Duke with its "Harvard: The Duke of the North" T-shirts.  Duke, with that little box on its admissions applications that asks "Would you still be able to attend if you did not receive financial aid?"  I believe that box is in the shape of a garbage can, isn't it?  Fie on Duke!

When does a proud graduate of NCSU love the Tarheels?  Only when they win the NCAA.  The rest of the time, we Wolfpack fans know that the only classes offered at Chapel Hill are in Marxist Theory and how to roll a nice, tight joint.

Cracker?  Well, I crack me up, if that's what you mean.  I'm a laughing-on-the-outside kind of clown.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.auntie-establishment.com

PS: Gonzaga will win the NCAA, Brother Carl, when Bing Crosby rises from his grave to sing a duet of "The Discovery Channel Song" with the Bloodhound Gang.  In a word, nevah!  That NCAA trophy will go on living South of the Mason-Dixon for many years to come.  It must like our sunny weather  . .  
     
----- Original Message -----
From: Bruce and Jean Livingston
Sent: Tuesday, April 05, 2005 9:50 AM
To: vision2020 at moscow.com
Subject: Re: [Vision2020] North Carolina takes it all!

OK.  That's it.

The Chapel Hill Gang wins a title and gets Roy Williams his first NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.  They sneak ahead of Duke, by four championships to three, to compound a bad situation.  And then, a Wolfpack alum feels the need to celebrate the UNC title AND denigrate my Blue Devils?!!!

Joan, Joan, Joan.   

Have you forgotten that the Tar Heels would smugly refer to themselves as THE University of North Carolina and cheer "if you can't go to college, go to State"?  How many times did you gag over that pitiful, pastel, baby blue, UNC color that overruns the entire state, in t-shirts from the Beach to the mountains and every mall and BBQ joint in between?  Why feed Tar Heel Nation's mistaken sense of superiority?  Have you forgotten that infernal bumper sticker on every other motor vehicle in the state:  "If This Isn't Heaven, Why did God make the Sky Carolina Blue?"

You cheer a victory for the "Home state," but say a Duke championship would be the "worst" thing?  Are not my Devils the third point in the Triangle (Durham, Raleigh, and Chapel Hill, all within 20 miles or less of each other, for you northwesterners), and also within your "home state"?  Like Jimmy V, we Dukies are just looking for a hug, too.

Sure, Duke imported a few Yankees for diversity, "damn Yankees," as my NC-native roomie referred to me on more than one occasion.  SOMEBODY had to compete with the Tar Heels and give them a sense of humility, since the Wolf Pack wouldn't.  Is this unwarranted, spiteful attack on my Devils just a result of pent up frustration from Duke beating NC State like a drum for 20 years?  

You Cracker.

Taking the Bait and Swallowing the Hook,  

Bruce LivingstonGet more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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