[Vision2020] FW: NYTimes.com Article: Are You Undecided? Or Not?

[Carl Westberg]

Just in case you're one of the 3 or 4 people who don't know yet who you're 
voting for.                                                                  
                                                                             
                                                                             
                                                              Carl Westberg 
Jr.
















>Are You Undecided? Or Not?
>
>September 16, 2004
>  By LARRY DAVID
>
>
>
>
>
>Los Angeles - I'd like to address this to the Undecideds:
>I'm on to you. You may be fooling everyone else with your
>little "undecided" act, but you're not fooling me. You know
>perfectly well whom you're voting for. The only reason you
>say you're undecided is that it's a cheap ploy to get
>attention. How do I know? Because I'm the most indecisive
>person in the world. I set the template, baby, and you're
>not passing the smell test.
>
>You want to see real undecided? Go out to dinner with me
>sometime. I'll show you undecided. I look at the menu for
>20 minutes, ask everybody what they're ordering, and then,
>finally, after I copy someone, wind up dashing into the
>kitchen to tell the waiter I've changed my mind.
>
>Do a little shoe shopping with me. I guarantee you won't be
>able to stand it. The black ones. No, the brown ones. No,
>the black ones. Several of my relationships have ended in
>shoe stores, with women slipping out, unnoticed, never to
>be seen again. I even got thrown out of a poker game once
>because I sat there, paralyzed, unable to decide whether or
>not to fold. It wasn't a pretty sight, but at least it was
>genuine, not a bluff, like you people.
>
>Oh, I've observed you in action. I've sat next to you at
>dinner parties and watched while everyone talked themselves
>silly, trying to get you on board. But you wouldn't budge,
>would you? You almost seemed to take some pleasure from it,
>just like my 8-year-old when she makes me beg her to take
>her medicine, you rascals.
>
>The other night I saw a whole gaggle of you on TV in a
>focus group. You really liked chatting with professional
>pollster Frank Luntz, didn't you? He seemed very interested
>in what you had to say. Afterward, I could imagine all of
>you piling into a bus and heading for Denny's to discuss
>your exciting evening with Frank. I could see all of you
>staying friends even after the election. Maybe go on some
>trips together. Perhaps a wine tour of Tuscany. On
>bicycles! Oh, the life of the Undecided. Too bad they can't
>hold these presidential elections more often. Ah, well,
>you'll just have to make do.
>
>The truth is, Undecideds, you're getting on our nerves. We
>Decideds hate all the attention you're getting and that
>you're jerking us around. Anyone who can't make up his or
>her mind at this point in the campaign should forget about
>the election entirely, buy a pint of ice cream and get into
>bed.
>
>We'd love to tell you to take a hike, but we're afraid to
>alienate you. If we really had any brains, we wouldn't
>spend another second on you, but on the people who can
>truly make a difference: the "unlikely" voters. And there
>are millions more of them than there are of you. Those
>people aren't after attention, they're just incredibly
>lazy. The only way they'll register to vote is if someone
>shows up at their door with a form. And then the only way
>they'll actually vote is if you carry them to the booth.
>
>Not only are they lazy, they're also indifferent. They just
>don't believe that voting can have an effect on their
>lives. Well, it just so happens that right after I voted
>for the first time, I landed myself a big fat job in
>Hollywood, a biopsy came back benign and I met my future
>wife as soon as I walked out of the voting booth.
>Coincidence? You decide.
>
>Larry David appears in the HBO series "Curb Your
>Enthusiasm."
>
>http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/16/opinion/16david.html?ex=1096345347&ei=1&en=0dded6c534ef9522












>Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company

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