[Vision2020] Things Republicans Believe

Tom thansen at moscow.com
Fri Oct 22 14:05:36 PDT 2004


Things Republicans Believe

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a 
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your 
recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest 
national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down 
on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to 
India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national 
corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches 
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor 
of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand 
their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to 
all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism 
should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made 
war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when 
Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A 
president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid 
defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which 
include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's 
driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell 
states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush 
did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China 
and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.



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