[Vision2020] Taxes and the Intoleristas

[Joan Opyr]

Saundra writes:  

If we'd have had similar information, we would have taken the exact same actions if the church had been the Church of Auntie Establishment or her brother institution the Church of Golf, and if the school had been Intolerista Academy.  The exact same actions!


The Church of Auntie Establishment has not yet claimed a tax exemption from the county, state, or federal government, either for our extensive religious services or for our college, The New and Improved St. Andrews, AKA the Money-Spinning Pyramid Scheme.  Nevertheless, for the record, here is a complete list of the financial assets of The Church of Auntie Establishment and its brother institution, Carl's Church of Golf:

1 church bus: a 1976 Chevy Suburban 4X4 with a new carburetor, good tires, towing package, and a spray-can paint job; affectionately known as "The Beast."  $900 bucks or best offer.

2 sets of used golf clubs, one complete, one missing irons three through five.

10% of 1 Dell Dimension 4500 computer.  (When I'm not running the Church of AE, I spend the other 90% of my computer time writing fiction, my column for the Co-Op, and rude letters to Butch Otter, Larry Craig, and George W. Bush.)

1 oak desk purchased for $15 from U of I surplus back in 1996.  Damage to veneer on left-hand side by what looks to have been the long-term presence of a leaky ten-gallon fish tank.

11 liberal, progressive, free-wheeling brains.  That's right, The Church of Auntie Establishment has finally added that crucial tenth member.  This means that our percentage growth rate since our formation last December now stands at 1000%.  We are, bar none, the fastest-growing church on the Palouse.  All we need is one more convert, and we'll have enough for a full set of apostles.  (Note to Judas Iscariot: give me a call.  And go ahead and reverse the charges -- you're always short of cash, damn you.)

Pope Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

PS: About the Nasty Nine baseball team -- unlike George W. Bush, I wasn't born on third base, but I insist on playing it anyway.  If there are any arguments about this, I'll be happy to forward my extensive Little League resume to the remainder of the Nasty Nine, AKA the Egregious Eight.



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