[Vision2020] Stewarts Arrival Already Has Potential to Incite Riot

[Tom]

Stewart’s Arrival Already Has Potential to Incite Riot at “Camp Cupcake”

Charleston, W.VA.- The head of a prison guards’ union warned earlier this week 
that due to federal budget cuts, officials could in no way guarantee the 
security of securities fraud frau Martha Stewart when she arrives to do her 
time at the facility in Alderson. The campus-like prison, nestled on the edge 
of the town, nick-named “Camp Cupcake,” has already expressed concerns that it 
may be forced upon her arrival to rename itself “Camp Tiramisu.” One guard 
commented, “of course, she’s no Squeaky Fromme, but it doesn’t take much to get 
people excited around here. We’ve cut down from 60 guards to about 35. It’s 
important that she realizes that as long as it’s okay for her to be gay for her 
stay, she can always still be straight at the gate. That way we can almost 
guarantee her safety, even when she forces the inmates to make brambleberry 
compote from berries she’ll harvest while picking up trash along the highway. 
We cannot guarantee her safety however if she tries to strong arm them into 
hunting and digging truffles like pigs along the Appalachian Trail. That should 
just be a
given.”

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