[Vision2020] A conversation with Michael Moore and Dan Carscallen

[Joan Opyr]

Sorry, Dan, but I have to comment on a couple of your comments.  For clarity's sake, I've put your remarks in italics (in homage to your ornery-ness), I've left Michael Moore in his original font, and I've placed myself in bold.  If I were feeling courteous, I'd have ceded bold to you and taken those girly italics for myself.  But I'm not feeling courteous.  I'm feeling . . . I'm feeling . . . damn, I'm feeling ornery!  Does that mean that red you and blue me can get together sometime for a friendly beer?  I certainly hope so; together, we'd make a lovely (not to mention gay-friendly) lavender.  

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment

Michael Moore writes: Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.   

[DC comments]  A win is a win

JO: A win is indeed a win, but a win in politics is not like a win in football.   What the other 49% of Americans think of Mr. Bush does matter.  We live here, too; we're not going away; and we can throw a mighty monkey wrench into the works as often as we like and/or feel provoked.  I'll give you an example: though gays and lesbians comprise only an estimated 10% of the population, thousands of years of discrimination hasn't made us go straight, and it hasn't made us go away.  Sure, some of us have fled to friendlier locales like Seattle or San Francisco, but a shocking number have chosen to stick it out here in the Red States.  You ought to appreciate this Dan -- it's nothing if not the very definition of ornery.      

Michael Moore: Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them
in lava. And no more show tunes!  

[DC]  The smart people are still in the middle of the nation.
JO: There are many, many smart people in the Red States, and I intend to spend the next four years reminding those lucky spuds in the easy Blue States that it is in their best interests not to condescend to us.  We in the hinterlands are the ones out on the barricades, fighting the good fight.  Latah County split just about evenly between Kerry and Bush, or near enough as makes no nevermind.  Blaine County went solidly Democratic.  We blue birds living in red states are not aliens, idiots, or lost cause addicts.  We believe that Idaho (and Kansas and Oklahoma) belong to us all equally, and we'll never cede our smaller blue to the larger red.  I think that speaks well for us.  Just ask yourself -- who has the real brass balls in this country, a Democrat living in New York or a Democrat living in Butte, Montana?     
Michael Moore: Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.  

[DC]  I still think maybe all marriage should be banned.
JO: Your wife is going to kick your Red ass.  But if you would care to come out and sleep in my Blue dog house for a week or two, Dan, you're more than welcome.  Politics, shmolitics, let's be neighborly!   
Michael Moore: Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.  

[DC]  I admit I would like to see more of them.
JO: I'm sorry, Dan, but Michael Moore's Coors remark has clearly thrown you.  You are now confusing the First Bimbo Daughters with the Beer Bimbo Twins.  Unless their Secret Service detail really falls down on the job, you will not be finding "Jenna and Barbara Do Dallas" behind the beaded curtain at Howard Hughes Video anytime soon.  Now, the Olsen Twins, maybe  . .

Michael Moore: Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and
arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.  

[DC]  Or maybe he will say screw it and go hunt Osama himself with a deer rifle. I could see that.
JO: Only if Osama shows up in Crawford, Texas.  Our President has long since demonstrated his total aversion to carrying a rifle in a foreign country.

Michael Moore: There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of
those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!   

[DC]  A loss is still a loss
JO: You said this already, only in the "win is still a win" format.  Is this going to be a refrain for you Republicans?  Because if so, I'm going to write a Broadway number with this chorus and set it to the tune of "Springtime for Hitler."   

Michael Moore: Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In
fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.   

[DC]  Too bad Kerry was not running against Reagan. Once again Michael Moore fails to mention that if Reagan of 1984 was running today, he most likely would have swept the entire thing and Kerry would still be licking his wounds today.
JO: No, it's too bad that Reagan never ran against Clinton.  That would have been a horse race.  Reagan had charm; Clinton had brains *and* charm.  It's a shame we'll never see the real thing, but perhaps we can convince MTV to do an episode of Celebrity Death Match?  Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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