[Vision2020] For the Liberal Intoleristas: 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

[Dan Carscallen]

(and 17 tongue-in-cheek rebuttals by Big Dan C: )

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's,
in
the words of Monty Python, 'always look on the bright side of life!'
There
IS some good news from Tuesday's election.
Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists 

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again. 

>>[DC]  there is always Jeb

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since 
Woodrow Wilson in 1916.  

>>[DC]  A win is a win

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young
adults
(Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always
wrong and you should never listen to them. 

>>[DC]  Yep, my parents told me to watch Farenheit 911

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the
country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't
worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is
doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out.
It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts) 

>>[DC]  Funny how those against what Bush does, did not bother to vote!

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in
the
Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the
Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do
their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one. 

>>[DC]  Democrats have jobs? 

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace
of
our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West
Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh
water,
all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them
in
lava. And no more show tunes! 

>>[DC]  The smart people are still in the middle of the nation.

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just
any
old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous
nut.
May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan. 

>>[DC]  Ohio will pay by still having to be Ohio.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America
will
no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time!
If
you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly
golden and you will be well cared for in your old age. 

>>[DC]  And you will have a great huge government to tell you how you
will live your last years of life.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get
married
in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we
won't
have to buy now. 

>>[DC]  I still think maybe all marriage should be banned.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress,
including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to
have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our
candidates
can't.  

>>[DC]  I am just glad that black kids have someone other than Kobe
Bryant and P Diddy to look up to!

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up! 

>>[DC]  That is only because even Coloradoans know Coors sucks!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away. 

>>[DC]  I admit I would like to see more of them.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at
least 3
chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state
legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into
the
2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53
chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control
47
chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1
chamber
(Montana House) is still undecided. 

>>[DC]  That is going to make a world of difference in the nation

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment
than
the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on
out --
and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard
work
that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in
12th
grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat
the
next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the
ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his
point, avenged his father and kicked our ass. 

>>[DC]  Maybe he can even get some "Clinton-esque" action in the White
House!

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a
very
dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two
scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the
Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his
ear
that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that
history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push
for
too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and
arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such
major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from
office. 

>>[DC]  Or maybe he will say screw it and go hunt Osama himself with a
deer rifle. I could see that.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of
voting
age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide --
it
means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58
yards
to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of
those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and
go
home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the
three
yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are
coming!!!  

>>[DC]  A loss is still a loss

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for
the
candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the
total
number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore.
Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking
for
a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first
time
since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country
has
always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news
is
that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In
fact,
that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the
ones
who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about
November
2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of
surprise in 2008.  

>>[DC]  Too bad Kerry was not running against Reagan. Once again Michael
Moore fails to mention that if Reagan of 1984 was running today, he most
likely would have swept the entire thing and Kerry would still be
licking his wounds today. 

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My
Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such
a
wonderful country  -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.
Yours,
Michael Moore

>>[DC] I'm well rested, thank you very much.  And ornery as ever.