[Vision2020] FW: Ashcroft issues new terror alert
Joan Opyr
auntiestablishment@hotmail.com
Fri, 28 May 2004 13:33:35 -0700
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Forwarding from an unknown source. Try not to get too scared.
--Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
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At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be=
a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in p=
ossession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calc=
ulator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft sa=
id he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. H=
e is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average soluti=
ons by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search o=
f absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer =
to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a comm=
on denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek =
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'.=
"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wan=
ted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us=
more fingers and toes."Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer downloa=
d : http://explorer.msn.com
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<HTML><BODY STYLE=3D"font:10pt verdana; border:none;"><DIV>Forwarding fro=
m an unknown source. Try not to get too scared.</DIV> <DIV>&nb=
sp;</DIV> <DIV>--Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <=
DIV>---------------------------------------------------------------------=
------------------------</DIV> <DIV>At New York's Kennedy airport today, =
an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested=
trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a=
setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conf=
erence, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a memb=
er of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the F=
BI with carrying weapons of math instruction.<BR><BR>"Al-gebra is a fears=
ome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and ext=
remes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.&nb=
sp; They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves a=
s 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator<=
BR>of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As th=
e Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every tr=
iangle'."<BR><BR>When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush=
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, =
he would have given us more fingers and toes."<BR><BR></DIV></BODY></HTML=
><br clear=3Dall><hr>Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :=
<a href=3D'http://explorer.msn.com'>http://explorer.msn.com</a><br></p>
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