[Vision2020] Fun in the Courtroom (Humor)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Fri Jun 25 05:40:29 PDT 2004

A judge of the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas writes a
monthly article for the Texas Bar Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges
between lawyers and witnesses during trials.

The following true exchange says it all:

Lawyer: "So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of
death of the patient?"

Doctor: "That's correct."

Lawyer: "Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?"

Doctor: "No, I performed the autopsy."

Lawyer: "OK, were you aware of his vital signs when he was at the hospital?"

Doctor: "He came into the emergency room in shock and died a short time

Lawyer: "Did you pronounce him dead at that time?"

Doctor: "No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not
involved with the patient initially."

Lawyer: "Well, are you even sure then, that he died in the emergency room."

Doctor: "That is what the records indicate."

Lawyer: "But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead,
having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?"

Doctor: "The autopsy showed massive hemorraging in the chest area and that
was the cause of death."

Lawyer: "I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine the
patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?"

Doctor: "No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead,
but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the
county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, HE COULD BE


Take care,

Tom Hansen

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
-Robin Williams

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