[Vision2020] dougsplotch.net

[Captain Kirker]

Visionheads,

Doug “the Bubba” Jones’ makes several comments worth observation:

1. “the elders of Christ Church have nothing to be ashamed about. . .”

This statement assumes that the elders of Christ Church have any sense of 
“shame” at all, which they do not. Scripture says, “The unjust knows no 
shame” (Zeph. 3:5), and the Christ Church elders are not only unjust—they 
are corrupt. Witness “Hammer Time.” For Jones to appeal to shame, therefore, 
is tantamount to me appealing to Ceasar. Memo to Doug Jones: the Christ 
Church elders have no shame, and Scotty can’t beam up Ceasar. But you 
*should* be ashamed of yourself.

2. “. . . in regard to any of the facts on that site”

In Jonesspeak, you won’t get any clearer statement than this to affirm the 
veracity of dougsplotch.hate. Jones knows that he can’t deny it. If he did, 
he would only invite further scrutiny. He also knows that he can’t say, 
“Yes, the emails, documents, chronology, narrative, and phone call are all 
authentic and true; every word of it is true.” Such an admission would also 
invite scrutiny. Therefore he offers a tacit concession, veiled and blurry.

3. “Basically, we said to some gambling doofs, ‘knock it off, grow up, love 
demands you not rip each other off.’”

According to one reading of one of Wilson’s emails on dougsplotch.hate, it 
appears that, maybe, possibly, he said this . . . kind of. But since none of 
the “gambling doofs” paid anyone back, then they didn’t “grow up” and they 
did in fact “rip each other off.” Therefore I must conclude that the Christ 
Church elders said something else.

4. “Imagine if we had said the opposite. Now that would have been a good web 
site.”

Methinks that Jones is stuck in stupid and can’t get out. Let’s see, if the 
Christ Church elders ultimately paid the gambling debts because the 
“gambling doofs” refused to not “rip each other off,” then I must conclude 
that the Christ Church elders did in fact “say the opposite.” Therefore, by 
Jones’ own admission, dougsplotch.hate is “a good website.”

5. “One pastor who was part of a denominational group reviewing our handling 
of this situation said it was a brilliant solution.”

Let me make sure I understand this. After you caught a gang of church youths 
committing felonies, you instructed them to pay each other back. When they 
refused to pay their debts, you vandalized the church treasury to cover it 
up. And “One pastor who was part of a denominational group reviewing our 
handling of this situation said it was a brilliant solution.” Who said this? 
Randy Booth or Al Capone?

6. “If you’re desperate to beat someone, be sure to choose a stick they’ll 
be embarrassed by.”

Well, this is about as transparent as toilet water. Jones pooh-poohs this 
scandal, and once more appeals to a sense of shame. Somebody please hit 
flush. As already noted, since the Christ Church elders have no shame, then 
it is not possible for them to suffer embarrassment. Of them the prophet 
says, “Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were 
not at all ashamed, neither could they blush” (Jer 6:15).

A kirker in good standing recently told me, “Doug Jones is going straight to 
hell.” He went on to describe Jones as the “Wormtongue” of Christ Church. 
This kirker is not alone. A local pastor calls Doug Jones the Joseph 
Goebbels of Christ Church, but I believe that this comparison is unfair to 
the Reichsminister. After all, Goebbels was a beast from the beginning, and 
he made no bones about it. Furthermore, he wasn’t ordained and he never 
cited Scripture.

Doug Jones, however, has prostituted his ordination so that he can lie full 
time on behalf of Christ Church. Deceit comes easy to him. He twists words 
just for fun. We have him to thank for the “It’s Not About Slavery” lies. He 
says that it actually took him eight hours to write the first ad. Memo to 
Doug Jones: learn to tell the truth, it’s faster.

Cordially,

Captain Kirker

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