[Vision2020] Merry Christmas (I think)

Joan Opyr auntiestablishment at hotmail.com
Thu Dec 16 17:47:30 PST 2004


Tom forwards the following from Dale Courtney's Blog:

“I've noticed a curious tendency in the mainstream media to label this as a battle against the secularization of Christmas. Actually, that battle has been ongoing for decades. What's new this year is a concerted effort by the secularist Left to purge Christmas altogether (Christian and secular) from our culture.”

Yeah, this seems to be the latest theme on Fox News, played ad nauseum on The O'Reilly Factory, Hannity & Colmes, and the rest of the paranoid, right-wing echo chamber.  O'Reilly recently went so far as to tell a Jewish caller to his radio show that "overwhelmingly, America is Christian.  And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus.  So, you don't wanna hear about it?  Impossible . . . . if you're really offended, you gotta go to Israel then."  Nice, huh?  If you don't love that seedy-looking department store Santa, or if you're not enjoying the four-thousand, nine hundred, and fifty-sixth playing of Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" over the PA system at Wal-Mart, then emigration is your only recourse.  America: love our hokey, crass, commercialized Christmas or get the hell out of our country.  We mean it -- git!

Listen, if a memo was sent by "the American Left" to all Jews, Muslims, Pagans, secularists, agnostics, atheists, and people who hate the Hallmark Store telling us that now was the time to put the "X" back in X-Mas, how come I didn't get a copy?  Why am I not on Scrooge's mailing list?  What did I do wrong?  Did he not see that big honking menorah I put up in my living room window?  Next year, I'm going to light up the shrubbery with Stars of David.   

Honestly, I do wonder just what it would take to satisfy the likes of Dale Courteney, Bill O'Reilly, and Jerry Falwell.  Must we all fall down and recognize December 25th as the birthday of Jesus?  What about Orthodox Christians, who celebrate on January 6th?  Or Jehovah's Witnesses, who believe passionately in Jesus as the Messiah but don't celebrate Christmas?  Since the Biblical evidence suggests that Jesus was born sometime in the spring, it's all very tricky.  Why does Jesus have an official birthday, like the Queen of England?  December 25th originally marked a Roman celebration honoring the pagan god Mithras.  The first Christian Roman emperor, Constantine, decided it might be handy (and induce more converts) to combine the two.  But never mind.  Who needs history when we can have clap-trap?   

So, happy birthday, Jesus.  I hope you get a really nice cake this year and not one of those candied fruit doorstops that Safeway sells for a dollar a loaf.  (Make that fifty cents a loaf if you celebrate on the less popular January 6th.)

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.auntie-establishment.com  

PS: Come on, Dale, Bill, and Jerry, tell the truth.  It's all about buying stocking stuffers at The Dollar Store, isn't it?  If you really gave a damn about Christmas -- if you really cared about Jesus the philosopher -- you'd quit worrying about whether or not the staff at Target said "Merry Christmas" or "Season's Greetings" and worry instead about the poor and the hungry, the needy and the homeless.  Someone this year would have a job thanks to you, or a good meal, or a warm place to sleep.  Instead, I suspect, you'll just buy the kids a Nintendo.

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