[Vision2020] One of These Things is Not Like the Other
Anybody Seen Commissioner Kimmell
thansen at moscow.com
Wed Aug 11 08:19:14 PDT 2004
Copied and pasted from http://www.theskew.com/
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One of These Things is Not Like the Other
That was always one of my favorite segments on Sesame Street. It turned out to
be really helpful later in life too! I base this notion upon the handy election
year chart I've prepared for you all below. Mother always said, "you'll never
make it to 'Final Jeopardy' if you don't know the presidents!" Mom, you're
right. I looked them all up in an effort to see what made them special enough
to become our commander-in-chiefs. I wanted to see their job qualifications if
you will, because these qualifications seem to have shifted drastically with
the 2000 election. I've only listed the experience I consider most pertinent.
Let's have a look, shall we?
1. George Washington - General of the Army of the United Colonies
2. John Adams - Lawyer
3. Thomas Jefferson - Lawyer, governor of Virginia, secretary of state under
Washington, VP under Adams
4. James Madison - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, secretary of state under Jefferson
5. James Monroe - Soldier, Lawyer, governor of Virginia
6. John Quincy Adams Lawyer
7. Andrew Jackson- Lawyer/soldier
8. Martin Van Buren - Lawyer, vice president under Jackson
9.William Henry Harrison soldier
10. John Tyler - Lawyer
11. James Poke - Lawyer
12. Zachary Taylor Soldier
13. Millard Fillmore - Lawyer
14. Franklin Pierce Lawyer
15. James Buchanan Lawyer
16. Abraham Lincoln Lawyer
17. Andrew Johnson Tailor (Like, huh?)
18. Ulysses Simpson Grant U.S. Army general
19. Rutherford B. Hayes Lawyer
20. James A. Garfield School teacher
21. Chester A. Arthur Teacher/Lawyer
22. Grover Cleveland Lawyer
23. Benjamin Harrison Lawyer
24. Grover Cleveland Lawyer
25. William McKinley Lawyer
26. Theodore Roosevelt - Rancher, vice president under McKinley
27. William Howard Taft Lawyer 28. Woodrow Wilson Lawyer
29. Warren G. Harding - Newspaper editor, U.S. senator
30. Calvin Coolidge Lawyer
31. Herbert Hoover - Engineer, U.S. secretary of commerce
32. Franklin Delano Roosevelt -Lawyer, governor of New York
33. Harry S. Truman - Farmer, soldier, U.S. senator
34. Dwight David Eisenhower -Supreme commander of the Allied forces in Europe,
U.S. Army chief of staff
35. John F. Kennedy - Journalist, U.S. congressman, U.S. senator
36. Lyndon Baines Johnson - Schoolteacher, soldier, congressman, U.S. senator
VP under Kennedy
37. Richard M. Nixon - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, U.S. senator, VP under
Eisenhower
38. Gerald R. Ford - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, VP under Nixon
39. James Carter, Jr. - Farmer, governor of Georgia
40. Ronald W. Reagan - Actor/president screen actors guild, governor of
California
41. George H.W. Bush Oil Executive, U.S. congressman, U.S. ambassador to the
UN, Director of CIA, VP under Reagan
42. William J. Clinton- Lawyer, governor of Arkansas
and lastly and leastly...
43. George Walker (I've always depended on the kindness of strangers) Bush -
(Failed) Oil executive, (Failed) Sport team owner, (Failed) governor of Texas*
Call me crazy, but I kind of see a pattern here. If the nation doesn't go with
a humble farmer, educator and or soldier that showed up for active duty, we
kind of have gravitated toward the legal eagles. Could it be because they can
see every side to a conflict and then successfully argue for a resolution to
benefit (most of) us accordingly? I dunno. Kerry and Edwards are lawyers. But,
maybe they're just ambulance chasing scum? Kind of like Abe Lincoln? No.
They're are no Abe Lincolns. But I think Abe would still be okay with
our "changing horses in midstream" at this point. I'm definitely sure he'd
prefer we at least get back to the "dudes who can speak in complete sentences"
or the "dudes that don't let the 'F' word fly with abandon" on the senate floor
type of candidates. Yeah, I'm pretty gosh darn dang sure he'd go for that.
*Yes, he failed! He was responsible for the worst air pollution in Texas
history. That makes him a complete failure in my book as frustratingly enough,
I keep on needing oxygen. Im such a greedy bitch that way. Were not even
going to bother to tell you about all the other juicy stuff like them corporate
kick-backs and the record number of them exe-cu-shuns.
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Take care,
Tom Hansen
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