[Vision2020] One of These Things is Not Like the Other

[Anybody Seen Commissioner Kimmell]

Copied and pasted from http://www.theskew.com/

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One of These Things is Not Like the Other

That was always one of my favorite segments on Sesame Street. It turned out to 
be really helpful later in life too! I base this notion upon the handy election 
year chart I've prepared for you all below. Mother always said, "you'll never 
make it to 'Final Jeopardy' if you don't know the presidents!" Mom, you're 
right. I looked them all up in an effort to see what made them special enough 
to become our commander-in-chiefs. I wanted to see their job qualifications if 
you will, because these qualifications seem to have shifted drastically with 
the 2000 election. I've only listed the experience I consider most pertinent. 
Let's have a look, shall we?

1. George Washington - General of the Army of the United Colonies 

2. John Adams - Lawyer

3. Thomas Jefferson - Lawyer, governor of Virginia, secretary of state under 
Washington, VP under Adams

4. James Madison - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, secretary of state under Jefferson

5. James Monroe - Soldier, Lawyer, governor of Virginia 

6. John Quincy Adams – Lawyer

7. Andrew Jackson- Lawyer/soldier 

8. Martin Van Buren - Lawyer, vice president under Jackson

9.William Henry Harrison – soldier

10. John Tyler - Lawyer

11. James Poke - Lawyer

12. Zachary Taylor – Soldier

13. Millard Fillmore - Lawyer

14. Franklin Pierce – Lawyer

15. James Buchanan – Lawyer

16. Abraham Lincoln – Lawyer

17. Andrew Johnson – Tailor (Like, huh?)

18. Ulysses Simpson Grant – U.S. Army general

19. Rutherford B. Hayes – Lawyer

20. James A. Garfield – School teacher

21. Chester A. Arthur –Teacher/Lawyer

22. Grover Cleveland – Lawyer

23. Benjamin Harrison – Lawyer

24. Grover Cleveland – Lawyer

25. William McKinley – Lawyer

26. Theodore Roosevelt - Rancher, vice president under McKinley

27. William Howard Taft – Lawyer 28. Woodrow Wilson – Lawyer

29. Warren G. Harding - Newspaper editor, U.S. senator

30. Calvin Coolidge – Lawyer

31. Herbert Hoover - Engineer, U.S. secretary of commerce

32. Franklin Delano Roosevelt -Lawyer, governor of New York

33. Harry S. Truman - Farmer, soldier, U.S. senator

34. Dwight David Eisenhower -Supreme commander of the Allied forces in Europe, 
U.S. Army chief of staff

35. John F. Kennedy - Journalist, U.S. congressman, U.S. senator

36. Lyndon Baines Johnson - Schoolteacher, soldier, congressman, U.S. senator 
VP under Kennedy

37. Richard M. Nixon - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, U.S. senator, VP under 
Eisenhower

38. Gerald R. Ford - Lawyer, U.S. congressman, VP under Nixon

39. James Carter, Jr. - Farmer, governor of Georgia

40. Ronald W. Reagan - Actor/president screen actor’s guild, governor of 
California 

41. George H.W. Bush – Oil Executive, U.S. congressman, U.S. ambassador to the 
UN, Director of CIA, VP under Reagan 

42. William J. Clinton- Lawyer, governor of Arkansas

and lastly and leastly...

43. George Walker (I've always depended on the kindness of strangers) Bush - 
(Failed) Oil executive, (Failed) Sport team owner, (Failed) governor of Texas* 
 

Call me crazy, but I kind of see a pattern here. If the nation doesn't go with 
a humble farmer, educator and or soldier that showed up for active duty, we 
kind of have gravitated toward the legal eagles. Could it be because they can 
see every side to a conflict and then successfully argue for a resolution to 
benefit (most of) us accordingly? I dunno. Kerry and Edwards are lawyers. But, 
maybe they're just ambulance chasing scum? Kind of like Abe Lincoln? No. 
They're are no Abe Lincolns. But I think Abe would still be okay with 
our "changing horses in midstream" at this point. I'm definitely sure he'd 
prefer we at least get back to the "dudes who can speak in complete sentences" 
or the "dudes that don't let the 'F' word fly with abandon" on the senate floor 
type of candidates. Yeah, I'm pretty gosh darn dang sure he'd go for that.

*Yes, he failed! He was responsible for the worst air pollution in Texas 
history. That makes him a complete failure in my book as frustratingly enough, 
I keep on needing oxygen. I’m such a greedy bitch that way. We’re not even 
going to bother to tell you about all the other juicy stuff like them corporate 
kick-backs and the record number of them exe-cu-shuns.

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Take care,

Tom Hansen
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