[Vision2020] Scarlet and I say fiddle-dee-dee

[Douglas]

Visionaries,

I may have said it before, but I would like to say it again. Joan really 
knows how to write, and I get a big kick out of her stuff.

Cordially,

Douglas Wilson

P.S. And speaking of her subject heading, I have a poem.

A young theologian named Fiddle
Refused to accept his degree
Said its bad enough being Fiddle
Without being Fiddle D.D.




At 09:43 AM 10/29/2003 -0800, you wrote:
>Like Prissy in a maternity ward, Doug and his fan club are fainting, 
>gasping, and having the vapors over the sorry state of journalism in these 
>benighted times.  But surely a man as media-savvy as Doug—a man who 
>publishes incessantly, whose every thought becomes a pamphlet, or a 
>column, or a screed—surely he knows that the media is like a big, shaggy, 
>un-neutered dog.  It’s unpredictable.  One day, it wags its tail and licks 
>your face; the next, it bites your butt and humps your leg.  This is the 
>price of doing business, or, rather, the price of expanding the business 
>you’re doing.
>
>Because without the crass media what audience would you reach?  True 
>believers, but those are limited in number.  Web-surfers, but there are 
>only so many crackpots, insomniacs, and lonely, un-medicated, paranoid 
>depressives—well, only so many who are actually looking for a defense of 
>Southern slavery and not for free photos of women with large breasts.  No, 
>to get to the man in the street, you must open your doors to Fleet Street.
>You must let those unpredictable journalists plant their dirty flat feet 
>on your oriental rug.  You must mug for the cameras, dish out the 
>controversial, newsworthy material, and trust to chance that A) you come 
>off sounding thoughtful, witty, and clever, or B) you can plausibly claim 
>to have been misquoted.
>
>It's good to grant interviews and have your beaming countenance on the 
>front page.  But here’s the dilemma—if you will insist on writing a book 
>in defense of Southern slavery; if you will claim that a system in which 
>white people owned black people made for true racial harmony; then you’re 
>going to attract attention.  Some of it will be from people who watchdog 
>this sort of thing, like Morris Dees and the Southern Poverty Law 
>Center.  Some of it will be from your fellow citizens, who say, “Good God, 
>does he really think that?”  And some of it—just enough to make it worth 
>your while—will be from people who think that you’re really on to 
>something.  These are the people who will buy your books, your tapes, and 
>your DVDs; who will send their kids to your school and their teens to your 
>college; who will attend your lectures, disputatios, and revisionist 
>gadfly history conferences.  The people who will donate, the people who 
>will tithe, the people who will buy, buy, buy.  In other words, the punters.
>
>Right.  Let's get them on in here and lighten their wallets.  Roll up, 
>roll up, roll up!  Carl and Melynda wonder if this is good for Moscow.  Is 
>Ozzy Osbourne good for Los Angeles?  Is Arnold good for Sacramento?  Molly 
>Ivins recently advised Californians to do what Texans have done: to take 
>their sad public spectacles and turn them into tourist attractions.  I’m 
>with Molly.
>Who knows about Moscow outside of Moscow?  No one—the same five people who 
>can find Pocatello on a map.  It’s time for all that to change.  Let’s 
>stop acting like Greta Garbo and make with the Anna Nicole Smith.  Gather 
>round all ye clowns and gawkers!  Good-bye quiet backwater, hello carnival!
>
>I only have one question—do I have to bite the head off a chicken or can I 
>just hum Dixie while eating a cinnamon bun?  Alternatively, perhaps Rose 
>and I could dress up as the Tarleton twins.  I'm sure she'd look dashing 
>in that Confederate uniform.  Gray suits her.  It really does.
>
>One more day for to tote the weary load,
>
>Joan Opyr
>AKA Auntie Establishment
>
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