[Vision2020] One Nation Under...Canada's Northern Threat!

[Ted Moffett]

Dear Auntie E. and other Luminaries!

I am pleased as punch to observe such a distinguished commentator sticking 
so religiously (oops! banned topic alert!) to the relevant themes of 
vision2020's mission statement.

Considering Moscow's proximity to those darn tax and spend liberals who hang 
precariously close to our northern border mooching off the great American 
capitalist machine, while they poison the minds of American youth with the 
dangerous ideas of socialized medicine and draconian big government gun 
control... need I say more?  The threats we are under from the north of 
promotion of universal health care and gun seizures to the founding 
principles of our great republic are reason enough to advocate "regime 
change" in Canada!

Now class, recite after me:  "... One nation, under God... or Gods... or 
Goddesses... or Gaia... or Vishnu... or the Great Spirit... or the Jaguar... 
or the Tiger... or the Bear... or Yahweh... or Buddha... or Allah... or 
Capitalism... or Socialist Canada... WHAT?"  I apologize for any faith not 
represented here, but the threat is clear!

Ted






>From: "Joan Opyr" <auntiestablishment@hotmail.com>
>To: "Vision2020 Moscow" <vision2020@moscow.com>
>Subject: [Vision2020] Ten reasons to invade Canada
>Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 13:22:50 -0800
>
>Ten Reasons for Invading Canada:
>
>1. Shania Twain.  This Toronto native's latest hit is brazenly entitled 
>"I'm Gonna Getcha Good!"  I've heard the song.  I've seen the video.  It's 
>clearly a threat.
>
>2. The Red Green Show.  Long before Tom Ridge came along, Mr. Green 
>referred to duct tape as "the handy man's secret weapon."  We must freeze 
>the assets of Possum Lodge.
>
>3. Wayne Gretzky.  He's known worldwide as "The Great One."  This is in 
>marked contrast to our own international sobriquet, The Great Satan.  Also, 
>why is it that in poll after poll he has continued to be named Canada's 
>most popular citizen despite the fact that he hasn't lived there since he 
>was traded from Edmonton to Los Angeles fifteen years ago?  Retired or not, 
>he's clearly a sleeper.  (NB: When I was a kid, we used to repair our 
>hockey sticks with duct tape.  I think this is significant.  See item #2.)
>
>4. Leonard Cohen.  His compositions are clearly meant to depress and 
>demoralize the average American listener.  Ditto Joni Mitchell.
>
>5. Victoria, BC.  Okay, there's nothing wrong with Victoria.  I just think 
>the Butchart Gardens are nicer than Camp David.
>
>6. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy.
>
>7. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against acting.
>
>8. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Andy Kaufman.
>
>9. Jim Carrey.  For reminding us of Jerry Lewis.
>
>10. Jim Carrey.  For crimes against comedy and acting and for reminding us 
>of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis.
>
>--Joan Opyr, AKA Auntie Establishment     Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN 
>Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com


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